If you see Pepe or Haywood, send 'em my way

Okay, okay. It's time to clear a few things up here. As I was going through my multitudinous e-mail messages I noticed a few were not spam, but were in fact a discussion of one of my previous postings. Apparently, there is a section in there that one might say has homosexual undertones. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not for me. I'll let you re-read the entry (since I know you've all read it already) and find the part for yourself.

Anyway, I had been berated over the weekend for my literary foulup, and now that it made it into the workplace I feel I should address the situation.

I'm not usually one to pass blame onto others unless of course it really isn't my fault. And even then, I try to shield the guilty who may be less capable of withstanding any attacks coming his/her/their way. In this case, I have no choice but to pass the blame. So here's the formal explanation from Old Coot Productions(TM)...

Apparently a few of the blokes in our London office were out for fish and chips last week when they had a few pints to celebrate the coming of spring. Here at Old Coot Productions(TM) we have a healthy tolerance for members of the staff imbibing a few quaffs during the work day, it's just a perk we feel helps with morale and the creative process. Sometimes, things can get out of hand. Apparently, one chap in particular felt he should take The Honorable Old Coot down a peg by rewording his entry a bit without sending it back up to yours truly for approval. It was nearing press time, and bypassing my approval is not uncommon in situations such as this. What was unreasonable was how he changed it, then got the two other signatures required by our process to bypass my signature. That means there were three individuals in on this libelous scam.

After some simple investigation, I managed to find the responsible individuals. While no formal retribution is in order, Tibor has had a large black mark placed in his file as he is the individual responsible for re-penning my anecdote. The other two signatures belong to two members of our staff for whom I cannot find a file. I do all of the hiring myself, but I can't seem to remember these fellas. But mark my words, once I find the files for Mr. Pepe Roni and Mr. Haywood Jablomi there will be a nasty letter describing their actions placed right at the front of the folder!

I hope you can all understand that this was a cruel attack against your humble narrator and should not be interpreted as any sort of "coming out letter". I just hope that all of you in Readerland can understand this was a practical joke taken a little too far. Tibor has expressed great regret for his actions, and has offered the following apology to excuse his actions "Sorry Guvnah, I was pissy". He doesn't know the whereabouts of Pepe or Haywood but thinks they might be on holiday.

Sorry for the confusion,
Old Coot