I have "The Knack"

I need to stop making grandiose claims on the interweb, because I'm not what you would call a "closer". I mentioned yesterday that I was going to do all sorts of lawncare after work. And I had every intention of following through with that plan. That is, until something better came along. I ended up going for a run where I was forced once again to describe what it is I do for a living.

Now, people think "Oh, you're an engineer. You work in the defense industry. That must be so exciting, getting to build cool stuff all the time." When I try not to dash their hopes and dreams of living vicariously through my job, I find that I can't actually describe what it is I do. Not that I have some legal obligation to keep my mouth shut for fear of being tried for Treason. Nope, I don't know anything that could be useful to anyone other than the average Microsoft Office user.

You see, what we do is often called Powerpoint Engineering. And engineering is not as cool as they make it look on TV. Combine that with being a military contractor and you take something mildly boring and introduce all of the overhead associated with government work (think red tape) and sometimes you want to shoot yourself in the face. But then one day you actually get to see something you've designed and you're good for another 6 months.

Which brings me to my point: there should be a politically correct term for "engineer"! People have the wrong idea about us, and it's high time we get a better reputation. Sure, there are some extra power nerds out there who hang on to their slide rules and pocket protectors, but the rest of us are pretty cool guys. I suppose I should use the word "people", but there are so few women in the business, "guys" is a safe enough approximation. Not only do we make great money (okay, no we don't) but we also understand how almost everything works. We have what's called "The Knack". And if we don't already know it, we can figure it out pretty quickly. And for those out there who can't do that, they know they can just ask me and I'll tell them. Yes, we're handy sons-of-bitches to have around. So people, cut us a freaking break.

We were tossing ideas around the tri-cube area today and the best idea (or only idea) that came up was "stud". While that surely describes yours truly, it's not a broad enough description to cover all the nerdy-looking dudes. I have some of my best engineers on the job, hopefully we can come up with something. I encourage all of you in Readerland to write in with suggestions.

But keep them nice, lest I should smack you with my slide rule!

Over and out,
Old Coot