Plagued by Plagues

Good morning comraderinos and comraderinas. I think the Northeast has been feeling a little ignored what with all the hurricanes and whatnot going on in other parts of the country. Then, to top it off we had that weak ass showing of a winter (with which I was very happy). So this spring we're being inundated with whopping thunderstorms. And caterpillar storms. It's like two of the seven plagues at once.

I rode my bike into work yesterday despite claims of afternoon thunderstorms. They said the same thing on Tuesday so I drove, but it didn't rain until later so yesterday I said "eff it" and rode in. It was a good call, as the rain didn't come until almost 9:00 and even then it was mostly off to the Wesside. But I'm not here to talk about thunderstorms, I'm here to complain about those freaking caterpillars.

Yesterday's run in Kirvin Park started around Humid:30. I rode home from work, changed into some yardwork clothes, dug a hole and freed that poor rock from it's shallow grave. You may recall the rock that has been the bane of my existence the last few days. This bastard was just low enough that I couldn't get two hands on it, but not deep enough that I could just ignore it. Yesterday I gave up on trying to keep my digging neat and tidy and just went to town on that ish. I was able to tip the rock up on end and put a steel cable around it. After a few tries, I managed to hoist that sumbitch out of the hole.

PlacaTAN, you rocky bastard.

After that, it was pretty smooth sailing. I had to loosen the dirt with the pinch bar since it got pretty clay-ey towards the bottom, but that was a welcome reprieve from the ass-whooping the rock gave me. When all was said and done, I had spent about an hour digging yesterday. That was just enough time to get soaked head to toe in sweat, expend all of my energy, and put me in a foul mood (the heat/humidity always seems to get to me). I cooled down in the basement while cleaning up and was good to go.

Interjection: if you Google 'placatan', you'll find that I am the number one hitter. That's what I'm talking about, bitches.

At 5:00 my alarm went off signaling it was time to get a move on. I changed my clothes, hopped on my bike and shuffled off to Kirvin Park. We have a strict 10-minute rule where, you guessed it, if you're more than 10 minutes late you get left. Not wanting to get left behind I hustled over there. Let me tell you, I was real glad I spent so much energy getting to the park (note my sarcasm).

There were two new (to me) women on yesterday's run. As it turned out, one of them lives approximately one stone's throw from my house. And get this, her house is the same as mine. Somehow I have to get myself invited over there to scope the joint out. I imagine hers is better, but I secretly hope that it's dated and boring. Plus she's hot (but married) and has a 27-yr-old sister. I'll be building that porch with my shirt and pants off now!

Okay, so the run was absolutely miserable for the first 5 miles. Being in the woods, I had those damned caterpillars with which to contend, along with their associated rappelling lines. But in addition there were roughly two gazillion mosquitos. They pretty much left you alone, but god forbid you had to slow to a walk or stop and wait for people to catch up, they swarmed like piranhas on a sirloin steak. Plus, my skin is so tender and juicy they had a waiting list to dine at the Coot Cafe.

Somehow I was always up front which meant I always had to stop and wait at intersections. Between the heat, humidity, caterpillar strings and mosquitos I was nearing my wit's end. I tried not to complain too much because nobody likes a whiner, but every once in a while I just had to let out a scream to vent. Fortunately the downhill section was much less buggy and much less uphill so I was able to simmer down (Summer, Donna) on the way out. Ahhhh.

After that, it was into the shower then off to the G-rocery store. My fridge looked like your stereotypical bachelor's fridge, minus the Coors Lite and moldy cheese. The freezer is jam packed, but the fridge had next to nothing. By the time I got home and sat down to dinner it was 9:00 and I was B-E-A-T. I picked up some California Rolls (sushi) for dinner knowing there was no way I was going to cook after shopping. They tasted delicious and I washed them down with some delicious milk. Then I jacked up some Soy Delicious icecream. A perfect cooldown for a perfect day!

Over and out,
Old Coot