Running with the Big Dogs

So, where to start? Today was a pretty fantastic day. I have to admit it started out as one of those days that wipes its swampy ass on your bathtowel, but it turned around pretty quickly. My morning was one of those where everything you touch either tips over, spills, falls apart or somehow costs you money. I rolled with it and in the end came out victorious. If I could go back in time to this morning I would surely wipe my ass on its bath towel.

I'm pretty much ready to retire for the night, so I'm gonna be brief. I attended the Thursday Night Run in my best form. I was rocking my new orange shirt (which goes nicely with my trademark red hat) and for once my socks matched the rest of my getup. I don't try to match, but it's nice when it works out. I was in the zone. CPG once again failed to show up, which was probably for the best because it turns out all this time she's had her eye (and now apparently more of her person) on someone else. Damn, that's what I get for getting my hopes up. Most of you don't know much about CPG, and now you never will cuz she's out of the picture. I kept her on the downlow because I tend to give away too much info then I have to relive my own patheticness every time someone asks "how's that going?" I'll pretend then that I don't care and say "Oh, it didn't work out" when what I'm really thinking is "Well, I fucked it up again". Fortunately, my even keel keeps me on the straight and narrow.

Okay, that went astray. The analogy to highschool was meant to illustrate how I felt when some of The Fast Guys from the Thursday Night Run invited me to join not only their "Cool Guy Early Saturday Morning Fast Run in Richmond" but also a race they're running on Sunday. WHAT! All of a sudden I'm not just another dude at the TNR, but I can hang with the big dogs (for the most part). They even talked to me and asked questions that led to other questions. Not smalltalk, but what appeared to be genuine interest. Now, before you get any ideas, I'm not gay and these guys are all married with 3+ kids. I imagine it'll be a while before I can keep up with them without putting myself in the hospital, but even just the gesture is nice.

I feel like I'm working my way up the ladder. Before I started running with the TNG I was mediocre at best. Often bringing up the rear, I was more of the comic relief and/or token young person. Now I feel like I have something else to bring to the table - my awesomeness.

An Accord Has Been Met

I hope I don't overstep any invisible boundaries - or visible ones that just miss my radar - when I say that I think the Bizarro Conflict has settled down for now. After what has been a long, hard battle for who is the Original and who is the Bizarro Todd an agreement has been unspokenly met. That agreement my friends, is to disagree.

For some time now, post-lunch ping-pong (AKA fost-lunch fing-fong, ahhh) has been played with the two Todds on one team. The Todd Coalition will not dominate the sport by any means, but has been able to defeat even some of the more difficult opponents. Lately, due to the escalating tension in The Great Todd Debate, the team has suffered. Today, after a handshakeless agreement (you know how guys are when it comes to shit like this), we put up some punishing ping-pongery (funishing fing-fongery, ahhhh). TC was hitting The Cranky Corner like it wore a short skirt and owed him money, and my unbelieveable returns kept us alive for what has been dubbed The Dozen Skunk. Yes, BV was keeping us in check with his patented Bisquick Beatdown and BS was rattling our cages with his laserlike forehand (and apparently backhand as I learned the hard way, several times). But we would not be stopped. We even served up a filthy victory in a 3/4 Dozen Skunk.

Below is a picture illustrating how Bizarro and Original Todd would have looked not shaking hands.

Definition Corner

Skunk - Leaving your opponent scoreless (score: 11-0)
Dozen - 12
Dozen Skunk - Skunking your opponent after you ignore their 12 points (score 14-12, win by two)
3/4 Dozen Skunk - Similar to a Dozen Skunk, only 3/4. Skunking your opponent after you ignore their 9 points (score: 11-9)
Fing-Fong - Ping-pong pronounced by the lazy
Bisquick Beatdown - undefined form of ping-pong asswhoopery
Ruthless - Devoid of all Ruth

Over and Out,
Old Coot