Recovery is Slow

Hey everybody, your old pal Old Coot here again. Once again I have been slacking on the blog front lately, but there hasn't been a whole lot to report. Blogging for blogging's sake leads to a stale blog, so I try to only bring the hottest, freshest shit to the table. Anyway, here's some stale shit to keep your neurons firing.

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All Day Long, All Day Strong

Late last week someone got tired of hearing me complain about my piriformis pain (previously called "butt pain") and suggested I try Alleve. "Okay," I thought, "everyone has some pain killer they think is the best and they're really all the same." He proceded to tell me that Alleve is not ibuprofen (Advil), acetaminophen (Tylenol), or aspirin (aspirin), but some wonder drug called Naproxen. "This stuff works so well I was able to play through a groin pull and really hurt myself" he told me. Cool, where do I get some?

So I picked up a bottle at my friendly neighborhood Brooks pharmacy and gave it a shot. Mind you, Friday night I went for a walk of about 2.5 miles and practically had to crawl home it hurt so bad. Saturday morning I was hurting pretty good, but about an hour after taking it I felt like a million bucks. I'm now on a regular Alleve diet, once in the AM and once in the PM. I've even run the last 3 nights!

Alleve, where have you been?

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The Can Man Cometh

Saturday was pretty much a productive day. At every turn I found one more thing to take care of that made my life just a little bit better. One such activity was to return the bottles and cans that have been piling up in the basement since that last Bush administration. I know, because I don't drink beer anymore (or 40s).

My new plan is to simply return the empty Coke cans whenever I shop for the measly 60¢, but first I had to rid the house of the hundreds of empties littering the place. They were all bagged, and for the most part sorted and counted, but they still had to find their way into my car and to the redemtion center.

So I got dressed, collected all of the bags, sorted the remaining empties and relabeled the bags with the appropriate empty count. I had about $13 worth, hardly worth driving to the redemption center for, hence the new plan. My basement is about twice as big as it was before without all that junk lining the walls. Ahhhh!

I blew $10 of the $13 on Alleve.

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Making Room in my Drawers

Another task for the weekend was to get rid of some of my t-shirt collection. These aren't t-shirts you keep around for when your kids (which I have none) are in high school and need some retro gear. Nope these are t-shirts with dumb ass pictures on them, or shirts from stupid activities I've been involved with.

I sorted with reckless abandon, too. If there was any hesitation whether I'd wear it again (or should wear it again), it went in the donation pile. Using this techinque I managed to clear approximately 13 gallons of t-shirts out of my drawers, enabling them to close without that last shirt hanging out the top.

"13 gallons? Who measures clothing in gallons?" you might ask. I folded the shirts nicely and placed them into a 13 gallon trash bag. Simple enough.

Feeling inspired, I then turned my attention to my closet. There were clothes in there from the Bush Sr. administration. We're talking highschool, folks. Sure, some of the shirts would be fun party shirts but A. I don't party and B. I don't need 10 party shirts (some of which I have never worn). I also took the liberty of voiding my closet of clothes that are still in Grade A condition, but don't fit. Anything from the Lard-o Years was gently folded and placed in the donation pile.

Another 13 gallons out of my way.

This was just Phase 1 of what I hope to be a thorough, multi-phased overhaul of the wardrobe.

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"Dolla Dolla Bills, Y'all"

Well, more like "Coin rolls everywhere around me, C.R.E.A.M. get the money, Dolla Dolla Coins, Y'all".

I've been saving change in my bedroom for the better half of a decade now and Saturday was the day to cash it in at the bank. I counted the rolls and came up with $462. CHA-CHING! I loaded the change into a duffel bag and humped it down to the car. I wasn't real sure about walking into a bank with a heavy duffel bag, but if I could avoid being shot long enough to prove it's just change I would be okay.

Let me tell you, $462 in change is a LOT of change, especially when $67 of it is in penny form. I ran some errands (returning empties) and hit up the bank. Wrong, the bank was closed by the time I got there. I guess I should have gone first. I tried the main branch thinking it might have longer hours. Wrong, shorter hours. Knowing that if I carried the change back into the house not only would I have to look at it for God knows how long, but it would be another half-decade before I took it to the bank.

And another thing... you know those mailing labels that every charity sends you by the pallet? I packed a few hundred of those in with the coins in case they require me to write my address on them. [Georgia Mass Choir]GENIUS![/Georgia Mass Choir]

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Mortgage Update

I spoke with the paralegal at my attorney's office yesterday and was informed that the deed has not yet been returned. It was sent out Overnight on the 12^th, which tells me it was in the proper hands on the 13^th. A little math tells me it's been 10 days, 7 of which were business days (okay, 6 if you count MLK Day).

I don't want to come across as pushy, but this chick better sign that shit and send it back in the pre-addressed stamped envelope pronto. If I don't hear anything from the attorney by Friday I'm going to have to send a gentle reminder. Of course, everything I say has to be 100% kind so as not to enrage someone with the potential to make my life very difficult. Plus ALL girls are crazy and unpredictable, I can't afford to push this one over the edge just yet.

The second the ink dries on my new mortgage though, no holds will be barred. I don't expect any further communication, but if there is any I won't have to be so worried about what I say (or that I even respond in the first place). Oh, what a joyous day that will be!

Thanks for listening, I feel better now.

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Well, that was a long one. I'll see if I can drum up some better stories for ya and holler at you one more 'gain.

Over and Out,
Old Coot