A Hodgepodge of Stories

Happy Hump Day, readers. Actually, with our new work schedule Hump Day this week fell sometime between yesterday and today, since we won't be working on Friday. Aaaanyway, I have a few topics of monversation (not conversation, since it's a one-way street) ranging from someone's nasty ass fingernail clippings to an update on my mortgage situation. So strap yourself in and enjoy the ride.

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The Fingernail Fairy Didn't Show Up

Yesterday I was throwing out an apple core when I noticed some fingernail clippings next to my garbage can. "That's strange," I thought to myself, "considering I don't clip my nails nor do I throw the clippings on the floor next to my garbage." I am a biter, so I thought maybe over the course of the last few years a few nails had built up next to the trash. It's not likely, but not out of the question either.

Later in the day I was chatting with someone when I mentioned the aforementioned nail clippings. He asked me to see how many there were, and to my amazement there were eleven individual clippings. Either the person who left them had eleven fingers or, my favorite option, ten fingers and one toe. Either way, who the hell clips their nails in someone else's cubicle and leaves them on the floor next to the garbage? Did he expect The Fingernail Fairy to come and leave him money for his nails?

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Ass Update

Thank you all for your concern; the flowers and cards were very supportive during my recovery from the pain in my ass. It's looking like today the muscle soreness is gone and I'll be going for a nice, easy, short run tonight.

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New Mortgage Update

As I was dining on chicken and sweet potatoes yesterday, I received a phone call from my bank. The woman congratulated me on being approved for my new mortgage. She also informed me that I would not have to have an appraisal done, and the money I paid them for that would be applied to my closing costs.

While on the surface that seems like a win-win situation for yours truly, it also would have prevented me from getting rid of my mortgage insurance (PMI) and from borrowing more money for things like furnaces and rooves (or roofas, plural of roof). I mentioned these things to her and she had to check into it and get back to me.

Several hours later, I got the call telling me that I would still not have an appraisal done, and that they would not be requiring me to pay PMI. In my excitement I forgot to ask about borrowing extra money in the future, but I'm supposed to get the promissory note today and I'll see what that says. Even if I want to borrow money and need to get an appraisal down the road, I guess it's no net difference. Moral of the story: I'm almost free!

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Ode to Cashews

Oh cashews, why art thou so delicious? Be you sprinkled in the byproduct of cooking coca leaves and baking them with baking soda? Hast your salty exoskeleton been drizzled in the tasty oils of the poppy plant?

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A New Toy? Already?

Those of you who know me know that I like to paint. Why then are half of the rooms in my house unpainted? While painting a door the other night it dawned on me that what I like about painting isn't the actual application of paint ot a surface, but being on a ladder outside. So, that helps explain why I dislike painting indoors.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that I painted a door the other night and it came out looking like hell. Years ago I researched HVLP sprayers (High Volume, Low Pressure) that are very efficient at transferring paint to a surface without putting a huge cloud in the air. Last night I was counting up the doors in the house that I'm either planning on painting or I wasn't planning on painting but should, and I'm looking at 9+ doors. That's a lot of doors, and a lot of time. If I had a sprayer not only would they come out looking better but I'd also be able to crank them out in short order. My final decision? Crack open the wallet and buy a sprayer. YESSS!

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That's all I have to say about that.

Over and Out,
Old Coot