Does the Mach 3 Turbo Belong Below the Neck?

It's Friday, you ain't got no job, you ain't got shit to do. I'm gonna get you...

Okay, so maybe not. But it is Friday, and I love that movie (Friday)!!

Here's a story I'm sure you will all care about. We went out to The 99 (I'm not sure why 'The' is in the name, but that's what people call it) for lunch yesterday as JD's going away lunch. I felt compelled to eat a roast beef and cheddar dip, because the waitress HIGHLY recommended it. It was pretty good, but it will not receive a glowing recommendation from yours truly.

Afterwards, one guy had to have dessert. The next thing you know the other 9 of us are ordering. I knew the sandwich was going to catch up with me sooner or later, so I opted for the slice of apple pie over any hot fudge laden treats. This freaking pie shows up and it's literally A PIE. It was about 6" in diameter, covered in caramel sauce and ice cream. I ate it, but I knew I was in for a world of hurting. And what a world that was!

Hours later I met up with The Crazy Group for our Thursday run. As I laced up my kicks in the driveway, I could feel the roast beef and pie battling for position. The desired position? On the driveway next to my feet. I held it down, but knew this was going to be an unpleasant run. I'm a trooper, but I warned the ladies (yup, yesterday it was me and the ladies!!!) that they might have to come pick me up on their way back down the mountain if an all out Battle Royal broke out.

Have you ever found yourself in the unpleasant position to have to suck in your gut after a meal of Thanksgiving proportions? Well, try doing that for 75 minutes while running through the woods; jumping over streams, rocks, branches, logs, etc. Fortunately, the ladies I was running with were all seasoned nurses and mothers, and were not bothered by bodily functions. Not that there were any to speak of, but I'm sure they could hear the sloshing noises my roast beef/ice cream/water encumbered belly was making.

Question of the Day:

As the ladies were discussing their pale legs and the fact that they had to remember to shave just for this run, they mentioned that I should shave my legs. I'm not one to be shaving anything below the neck unless there's a good reason, but they felt it would really help emphasize my calves. I'm not sure if this was a compliment or they were saying I could use any help I could get in the calf department. I certainly wouldn't be doing it for speed because there are other things I could do to improve speed that wouldn't give me chick legs.

So ladies, what are your thoughts? Guys, I already know what you're thinking. I'm not seriously considering this, it's more of a curiosity.

And while I have the razor out, would it be too much to shave a 6-pack into my stomach? It's not like I look like Steve Carrell in 40 Year Old Virgin, but I'm no bare chested wuss. There's material to work with.

Well, I await your feedback on these topics. For now, I'm back to documentation. And today's a beautiful day; good thing I'm working until 4 :(

Over and out,
Old Coot

P.S. It's JD's last day here at work, the lucky bastard! Good luck, player.