Disclaimer

Attention Readers,

I feel I should warn you about the kinds of things you're likely to encounter as you peruse my musings. For those of you fortunate enough to be a part of my daily life, you might as well not bother reading this. I'm pretty much an open book on tape. I tell everyone everything about everything. Most of it you don't even care about, but I tell you anyways. Even if you aren't listening, it doesn't matter.

In addition, part of my story-telling nature requires me to "workshop" my stories before I tell them to make sure they have adequate humor content. Thus, this weblog will contain stories that have already gone through at least one round of editing. And while I'm talking about editing, I don't want anyone to get confused. I don't edit for language or content, just for humor and emphasis. All stories are 100% true. And if there is a mistake, it's done merely by accident (such as I just don't remember correctly). But rest assured readers, I don't intentionally mislead. My life is as actually as this blog will lead you to believe.

Oh, and anything you perceive as offensive is actually not offensive. You're just reading it wrong. And I'm a frequent user of sarcasm, so be on the lookout. With that said, now I'll start...

Wait, one last item you may need to know. If you've heard a story or two of mine before, use my voice to read. I write how I'd like you to hear it as if it were being read by yours truly. For example, ALL CAPS and !!! are used for emphasis and/or yelling. Now I'm done prefacing this journal.