In case you haven't heard, we're going to be getting a new set of C-Notes up in this piece. The best part is that the paper used for printing our American dolla dolla bills, y'all is made right here in Western MA. We know how to stack that paypa', ya hurrrd.Lyrics You'll Be Hearing
As you may have noticed, rappers like talking about money. They like to take money right from their hoes and "make it rain" all over strippers. Just giving money back to the people, I say. What's best, is when they came out with the last round of $100 bills, you heard rappers distinguishing between Small- and Big-Faced Hundreds.
Before rappers start coining new phrases, I thought I'd get mine out there and copyright that shit. So here are some lyrics they'll be using, while simultaneously infringing on my copyrights...I was droppin' solid classics before hundreds was holographic©
My tongue spit hot classics before hundreds was holographic©
My lungs kicked hot classics before hundreds was holographic©
Mary had that little lamb, whose fur was white as snow.
and I was stackin holograms, while you's dividin' blow.©
Don't front! You know those are the hottest lyrics you haven't even heard yet. If Kanye can rhyme "More chips than Pentium" with "Strippas named Cinnamon" and "Whatever new trend it is" then I can use "Mary had a little lamb" as one of my 16 bars.My Bike Game is Tight
I know you guys want to stay as updated on my Josh training as possible, so I'll let you in on my progress. Yesterday I went out for a cruise of the Josh course with a few of my homies. Not only did I wipe the course with those guys but I went home and pumped out another 20 minutes on the trainer, honing my bike handling skills and sweating out another quart of Coot Juice&trade .
Tonight, being a warm night, I'll be out on the lake working on my kayak game and further enchiseling1 my already chiseled obliques. Okay, well maybe they aren't chiseled but you can imagine if they were. I may even work a few miles of running into the mix, keeping my run game tight as well.
God I can't wait for this race to be over.Bottled at the Source: Pittsfield, MA
I assume it's primarily in the Northeast that we have Aquafina Water that was bottled in Latham, NY (municipal water supply), but the word on the street is that a bottling company just bought property in Pittsfield possibly for a similar use. All of you people 'round these parts who buy bottled water because the city water is "so polluted with PCBs" (which it isn't) may soon find yourselves drinking bottled water from the same supply as your tap. Read your labels more closely, folks.
And if you think bottled water is so much better, I'll cut you a deal on Coot Sweat&trade, "Fine Water, Tapped from the Berkshire Mountains©". A deal at only $2.25 for a 24 oz bottle.
1I'd like to give credit to Miss Maven for the term "enchiseling", as I got the prefix "en" from her (months and months ago). You can use it in front of most verbs for enhanced effectiveness. I didn't want to encroach on her copyrights.
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Monday, August 27, 2007
C.R.E.A.M. Get the Money
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5 comments:
Damn boy you almost got me in trouble at work. Laughing out loud is the most identifiable sign that you are most assuredly NOT working. Thanks for ENabling my laziness.
I'm happy to say that I enchiseled away some of my applebottom on the trail for TWO hours on Saturday. (not ALL running mind you) I will not share the run/walk fraction until it is more impressivo.
You've always had the best lyric writing skills! Who can forget our bus stop song? "We are the hips that all stand on the wall..."
Nik, even if that fraction is infinite you still did 2 hrs more than your average John/Jane Q. American. What whaaat!
Alissa, of course I still remember all of the lyrics. Remember the two sticks I used to bang together to the beat. Silly white boy.
I don't know if Nikki liked my butter lyrics or it was something else that tickled her fancy, but I'll assume she did. Between Nikki and Alissa I think I can claim success in the advanced degree, white girl demographic. I won't quit my day job quite yet.
Here's another White Girl (capitalized, as I embrace my demographic) review: Sweet rhymz, but... I think sheep have fleece.
I'd need to hear the tune of your new currency song to give my final review. The Hips, if you'll recall, didn't exactly provide an chance to explore one's vocal range.
But the rhymes, oh the rhymes: wall-fall, lard-hard, blue-flu... "From him!"
Correction, gangster sheep wear white Gucci furs and Louis Vuitton slippers. You must be thinking of them punk New England sheep with their LLBean microfleeces and their Wicked Good Moccasins.
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