Saturday, August 26, 2006

I'm Cheating Again

Hey fans of the Coot. I'm gonna come clean right here and now and tell you that I've been cheating. The Crazy Running Group has been revived after a summer-long hiatus, and my creative side couldn't help but to start another blog. You see, the CRG is a completely different group of folks who need their fix of the Coot too. But in the interest of gossip and talking about people behind their backs, I'm going to keep the two separate.

Before any of you go throwing yourselves off bridges or wearing red shirts in Crip territories, I'm not abandoning this blog. What I hope is that there is enough Coot to go around. What this should do for this blog is limit the amount of running related stories you have to hear. Although, upon further review having an additional creative outlet won't increase the time I spend on non-running activities, so maybe it change a damn thing. And, having reviewed that last sentence I'm pretty sure my running will only increase as the temperature decreases. You can't kayak when it's 10 degrees F and windy, but you can sure as shit slip into some form-fitting lycra gear and run 8 miles.


So today was pretty boring after my early morning run with the CRG (not to be confused with CPG). We met up at some church - hidden in one of those twisty neighborhoods where people like me tend to get lost - at 7:00 in the morn. These days, it's still pretty dark at that hour, so I almost bagged the run. But, Jesus himself appeared in my bedroom, told me to stop scratching myself and get up. He then proceded to slap box me into agreement; if Jesus whips your ass you better go to church. So I went to the church and used their parking lot while making inappropriate jokes with likeminded folks. Hey, nice rhyme!

After the run I went home, started the other blog (which I'm not sure if I want to share), went to Juice 'n' Java, napped for several hours on the couch in my 'parlor' AKA the spare bedroom downstairs with a couch and coffee table and rocking chair, ate some ice cream, ate some chips, went to Target to buy Reservoir Dogs, and here I am. The weather has been less-than-inspirational today so I'm using it to recharge my body (hence the ice cream and chips, Buddhist recharging foods).

I'm hoping I'll hear something about a run tomorrow, lest I should be forced to take to the roads by myself.

OH, I forgot to mention that as my birthday approaches (the big deuce-quadruple deuce), I have to prepare for my annual "Doubling of the Miles Run", where I go for a "race" against nobody but myself. The "Doubling" part refers to the fact that I double the miles of the previous year. This of course seemed like an excellent idea when I could only run 3 miles, but last year I did a half marathon (actually 13.9 miles). To stay true to the game I'd have to run a full marathon this year (26.2 miles). I haven't exactly been training for anything like that, we'll see how it works out. Before this week's out, I'll have over 50 miles under my belt (weekly miles that is), so I might just be prepared for such an adventure. My alternate goal is to run the entire Rail Trail end to end and back. That would be 22 miles.

You may say to yourself "If the Old Coot can run 50 miles in one week, why can't he run 26.2 miles in one day?", to which I will offer the following response. Currently I run distances that can be completed without water, food or surgery. I can eat and drink when I'm finished. But, when you move on to marathon distances the logistics become exponentially more complicated. I'd have to plan for where I'd get water, what kind of foods my body would be able to handle (energy gels come to mind, but even those take some getting used to I hear) and what to do in case of emergency. There are also concerns with chafing, as anything touching your skin will cause chafing given enough time.

Here is some food for thought: a person at my weight burns roughly 133 calories per mile, which translates to 3477 calories over 26.2 miles. That's in addition to the number of calories it burns just carrying out its regular functions. With your average energy gel containing less than 150 calories, I'd need to refuel approximately 1.28 shitloads of times. Now, I have to carry all of that stuff without having it chafe the hell out of me.

So there you have it. I'll see if I can get closer to that sort of distance in my upcoming long runs. If I think I can do it, I'll certainly give it a try. What I can tell you is that you should all be waiting by the phone for me to call you for a ride. Ab, I have my new RoadID bracelet with mom and dad's phone number so if I pass out or die, they'll know who to call.

And there you have it.

Over and Out,
Old Coot

1 comment:

Abbey said...

Dude, on my Virgin Bike Tour (or VBT), I made sure to take my wallet with all pertinent personal information, should my crazy front wheel direct me off the "sidewalk" and into oncoming traffic.

In a related story, there were no fly helmets to be had at the store where I picked up the A1. The search continues.

"Something inside of me just said 'Hey, wait a minute, I want to beat him.' and I just took off." -Pre