Bagel Day

Happy Bagel Day, Coot fans. I forget every Friday that it's Bagel Day up here in the Hardware Design office, or whatever the name of our group is this week. And every Friday I have a nice big breakfast at home, then immediately hit up a bagel. Today was no different.

I've been working on a bag of granola that I picked up at the healthy section of the grocery store. I liked the idea of buying bulk cereal and the price was right. The trouble with granola is that it's really filling and it's slow eating. In the morning, I like to power down a bowl of cereal while I get all my stuff packed up for the day and I can't do that with granola. To make matters worse, my diet of ice cream and cereal has depleted my bowl and spoon resources and I have to either wash them by hand or hurry up and get a full load of dishes dirty since that's all I've used in the last week. Today I used a huge Pyrex mixing bowl, so I ended up with a serious bowl; but damn it was tasty.

The Jesus Puncher

Last night I killed this weird bug that I found crawling around my bathroom. I took some pictures, but I forgot to get them off the camera so you'll have to use your imagination. It was a flying black bug that looked like one of those flying ants, except it's body was bright red. So red that I thought it was sitting on a piece of red crud; no ant could be that red. Anyway, I grabbed it with some toilet paper and tossed the little bugger into the toilet. Mission accomplished.

This morning, as I sidled up to the porcelain throne and took aim what did I see but that very bug, risen from the dead. Not taking any chances that it might be Jesus reincarnate and I'd be the Pontius Pilate who sentenced him to death, I killed that bastard again. Only this time I flushed him down to destroy any evidence of my impiety. I wasn't about to leave anything to chance this time.

Pretty Boys

Last night after the Thursday Night Run, we were having dinner and working out names for our Josh Billings Runaground team. With the beers flowing like wine, some of the guys were getting really into it, and we came up with a few good ones. Most are probably inside jokes, but who cares. Here are some that received the most votes...

Pretty Boys (or Prity Boyz, or Pretty Boiz) - we're not pretty boys, but the uniform would be pink polo shirts with the collars popped (or 'popped')
Chick Magnets - our shirts would have a yellow chick running for her life from some gangly, snaggle-toothed dude using a magnet to reel her in. We're not chick magnets.
Three Hour Tourists - I just came up with this this morning. The race takes about three hours to complete, so I thought it was a clever name.

They decided last night that if we don't win it'll be my fault. Not because I'm in the worst shape or because I don't know how to use my kayak, but because I'm not over 40. Generally with sports, youth has an advantage but the other two guys are over 40 and if I were too, we'd be in the 40+ category. Since I'm only 27 I think we fall into some general category. They're in good shape, so I'm not really worried but I doubt we can compete with a team of college kids for example. Sorry players, step yo game up.

CPG Update

CPG sold her good car in preparation for moving back to the motherland; apparently she had two. It's still up in the air, but I guess she's trying to make it as easy as possible should she not be able to come back. At one point she was talking about people she's known who have gone so far as to pay someone to marry them so that they would be able to stay in the country, only to divorce days later. It was clear that this was not an option; maybe it was only the cost that gave her the sour taste. Christ, I painted half of the 'COW residence (the BARN) for a Juice 'n' Java sandwich and some coffee, and that involved bees nests. I would gladly lend her my name for a muffin and medium coffee. Hell, I'd even let her keep it.

No, no I wouldn't. Maybe I can just lay on the charm real thick in the next month and she'll be begging to marry me, with coffee and danish in hand. And maybe monkeys will fly out of my ass. Not that I'm looking to marry a girl so she can stay in the Land of Milk and Honey, but I could certainly do worse.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Keep your fingers crossed for Old Coot. Despite his killer good looks, swoon-inducing charm, and oversized sideburns, he's not too smooth with the ladies, so any help (please, no advice) would be appreciated. Really, just send some positive energy his way. He'll pay you back, I swear. He just has to wait for his allowance.

Today's Plans

Hopefully today will clear up. I think I'm finally going to take my bike in for its 60 day tuneup, then I'll take that puppy for a spin while I rest up for Sunday's Legendary Lake Run. They're expecting a hot day, in fact this is a quote by the event's coordinator:

"I'm hoping it's a hot morning," Breault said. "That's the way it's always been with the Lake Run. It's the first Sunday in August and the morning starts out cloudy with oppressive humidity. Then it rains and the sun comes out and it gets real hot. It's that beat-you-down kind of heat."

Yeah Breault, if you're going to be hoping for this kind of weather I better see running shoes on your damn feet. Fortunately, the weather has been disgustingly hot and humid all week so I'll be in good shape for it. Unfortunately, the nipple chafing worsened last night, despite the Body Glide&trade I slathered on those puppies. I don't like running without a shirt, but if it bothers me again I'll have no choice but to take it off or cut out the nipples.

With that being said, I'm ghost.

Wait, one last thing... Today is BV's last day. We're going to hit up Teo's for a celebratory lunch and I can only assume he'll be bringing a laptop and projector so we can review the slides he's put together for his End of Phase Review. We can't let him follow some chick to another state without a formal review, so this is his last chance.

Over and Out,
Old Coot