Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Back in Effect

Hot Damn, it's been a long time since I hollered at y'alls. I'm sure you've been wondering why that is, and I'll tell you. It's because I didn't feel like writing for a while. Simple and plain, so deal.


New Languages

This is just a head's up for anyone who has noticed that Blogger is now available in Hebrew, Arabic and Persian. While the rest of Blogger might be available in additional languages, we here at Old Coot Productions believe that our stories, rants and informative monologues can best be appreciated in their native language, English. With that in mind, we will not be publishing in additional languages.


Feline Update for Bizarro

Dear Bizarro Todd, please stop calling my house to ask about the cats. Please stop sending singing telegrams as a cover to get me to open the door so you can look in and evaluate my cats' health (the doorbell scares them anyway). And for God's sake please stop hanging upside-down from my roof trying to sneak a peek in the front window. And I know that was you who snuck in dressed as an ottoman while I was out running. I don't even own an ottoman, and when you ran out of the house you dropped your Old Coot Fan Club membership card, complete with photograph, signature, social security number (that you wrote in yourself) and blood type (again, why'd you write that in there?). You can expect a phone call regarding the new metal roof you're having installed this weekend, paid for with the home equity loan I took out against your house.

Since you're relentless I'll tell you that they're both fine. Nano reeks of cod liver oil and Vinny's arm is still shaved. Ha ha, shaved arm.


Hot Damn, It's Cold

Well, I started writing this yesterday when it was colder. Now it's not so cold. I double-dog dare Mother Nature to pick a freaking season and stick with it. For example, during winter months maybe we could have winter-like weather. Then in the spring months it could be spring-like. Then, well, you get the point.

The reason I started this is that Monday night I went for a long run (out by the Pittsfield airport and back) and it was 10 degrees. That shit is cold, on the strength!

The cool part is that I did get to see a private jet come in for a landing right above my head. And I mean RIGHT ABOVE my head. The runway looks like it's no more than 1000' from the road I was on (South Mountain Rd.), and the plane could have been brushing the tree-tops for all I knew. The damn thing was CLOSE. You can go ahead and be jealous, I don't mind.


Well, that's it for today. Latros.

Over and Out,
Old Coot

3 comments:

Melissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa said...

Mother nature: If a dare isin't enough to motivate your lazy a$$ into action, I double dog dare you! What the #%@^#%@@! A couple o' weeks ago it was like 65 degrees! I was coatless and happy, unencumbered by neither boot nor snow! And while I disagree with Coot's suggestion that in winter we could try having winter weather (in fact, as far as I'm concerned, we could do without it altogether), I do agree that you should pick a frickin' season and STICK WITH THAT Sheeeet! I can't take the sense of false hope that lifts me up in warmer times only to see me crash helplessly when confronted with the cold reality of winter!

Todd said...

Damn strizait! It looks like Mother Nature is at least trying now. I've got high 20s to low 30s as far as Accuweather's eyes can see.

On the strenth, you best keep that shit in line before I bust out some old CFC powered cans of AquaNet I've been saving for just this occasion.

"Something inside of me just said 'Hey, wait a minute, I want to beat him.' and I just took off." -Pre