My Knees are Knocked

Dearest Players, allow me to say a few things before we get started with today's festivities. I've noticed that a few people have been religiously reading my blog without so much as a blurb, tidbit or somethin-somethin in their own. I won't mention any names, you know who you are. One of you even introduced me to the beautiful world of bloggetizing, then left the game only to thrice return, then leave again.

Dom.

One damn fool in particular - whose name I won't mention - even sent an e-mail containing information that would have been perfectly suited for a blog entry. That merlfickee (how old no-tooth-havin' winos say emmer effer) needs to reprioritize his entire life to make sure that blognastics are at the upper end of the spectrum. In general, a persons priority list should read something like this:

1. Take first breath of the day


2. Update blog with dope stories and humorous anecdotes


3. Exhale that first breath


4. Eat a banana fudgo


5. Drink some coffee


6. Read Old Coot's blog now that you've earned the priviledge


7. Send a care package of rice-n-beans and piping hot pasteles to Old Coot


8. Hit the streets and strut yo stuff


9. Hook up some butter jurry with dollar signs and anchor chains


10. Etc.

That wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, just an example of how one might prioritize his life.

Now, let me bitch about how my knees are sore. I took three days off from running for a variety of reasons, and thought for certain I'd be back in the game today. A little 9 AM 10K should have been easy as pie with all the rest I've been getting. It was, but now my knees hurt again. I'm thinking it might be time to hook up a new pair of shoes. And with the weather being as crummy as it is, the Lord knows I like to shop for running gear.

Perhaps I'll open a can of whoop ass on the Saucony outlet. And this time I'm getting a different style of shoes, the Grid Omni line has let me down. As you all know, the Grid Omni 4s were dopalicious and when the 5s came out I thought they would be 25% better. Instead they were much, much worse. My instep is always sore, now my knees hurt, plus they had dog shit on them the other day. I can't operate like that!

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Oh man, I forgot to holler at all y'all about the dogshit episode. After the Live on the Lake race Wednesday I got home (it was late and dark) and the cats had ruined my house. There was fur everywhere and the place had a bit of a stink to it. As I sat on the couch checking my electronic-m I could smell the distinct odor of an animal's ass. One of the cats was sitting on the floor grooming himself, so I was quick to tell him his ass stank. Then he left the room and it still stunk.

Hmmmmmm, maybe it's my shoes. Yup, a monster dookey was mashed into the arch of my shoe. Not only had I walked all over the house with my shoes on, but I also drove home from the lake that way. I made a mental note to check the floor mat the next time I got in the car.

Having promptly erased that mental note, the next day I went kayaking. I borrowed some of those trendy new sandals called Crocs, and returned them after kayaking. I only had about a 2 mile drive back home, so I didn't bother putting on my shoes. It wasn't until later that night that it dawned on me that I hadn't checked the gas pedal for dog shit before driving barefoot. ILL! It turns out it was clean, but still.

Okay sucka uckas, that's all I have for you for now. I'll let you know how the hunt for new kicks goes.

Over and Out,
Old Coot