Fing Fong Lessons

Good afternoon, ladies and gents. This is a quick update based on the fact that I said "I'm definitely going to blog that" during a rousing game of after lunch ping-pong, or fing-fong to the winded, overweight community.

Here are some things we learned today about the game of fing-fong:

When hit in a post whoopie-pie belly, one's belly will make a low WHUUUUHHH sound as the ball presses into the belly, and a high PEEEE sound as it is expelled. The resulting sound is, of course, WHOOOO-PEEEE.

As we all know, a tied game can be simply "ones, twos, threes, etc" until it reaches 8-8, whereupon it will be "ochos" (sidenote, 4-4 is either quatros or faahrrrrs in pirate-speak). With each team scoring one additional point, the game is then tied at "nachos", with nacho being the spanish word for nine. A subsequent tie is called tacos. Then it's just 11-11 and so on. PlacaTANachos.

While tackling near the yoga mats is acceptable - so long as the tackle carries the tacklee onto the mats - one should use caution if his vertical leap is not higher than a 2x4 (1.5"). This can result in injury as one's ankle slams onto the buried 2x4. One should exercise extra caution when nursing shin spints.

If a cake is baked with one leaf of savory, it will implode. The cake will be both sweet and savory, two mutually exclusive properties.

The rest of the lunchtime/fing-fong conversation has not been cleared for discussion on the futureweb. It involves topics to which women are not privy. Should any woman who is also a wife or girlfriend catch wind of the un-aforementioned topics the result would be either divorce or the purchase of very expensive shoes on the man's good credit. For all the single ladies out there, you still can't find out cuz you women are conniving and back-stabbing. The whole lot of you. I've seen enough Jerry Springer, Judge Judy and Chris Rock to know you'll do anything to get that new Gucci bag.

Y'all are Scandalous.

Okay, that's all I have. I'll holler at you later.

Over and Out,
Old Coot

Bibliography
savory. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Retrieved September 29, 2006, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/savory