Despite the moniker Old Coot, I am actually not old and not a coot. My Libran fairness gives me a world of reason and understanding that often works to my disadvantage. Alas, even I have my limits...The LAMFB Dog
Yesterday morning I was startled awake by the yelping howl of the neighbor's loud ass mothafucking barking dog (LAMFB dog) at the ripe hour of 7:30AM. As usual he would continue to yelp and howl all day, but the pièce de résistance came when a car broke down in the road next door to the LAMFB dog's house.
The driver of the broken down car spent the better part of 2.5 hours in the street trying to figure out what went wrong and then what to do about it. All the while the LAMFB dog yelped and howled without so much as a pee break. I was forced to endure a suffering that tested my patience and brought me to the edge of sanity. I wanted so badly to walk over and punt the freaking thing into the back yard, but I know he's such a piece of chicken shit that as soon as my foot touched the driveway he'd run away with his tail betwixt his legs.
Loud-ass-muthafucking-piece-of-chicken-shit-ass dog.
Today I shall put the finishing touches on a letter I've been writing to LAMFPCSA dog's owners. In it, I simply point out that their dog is a nuisance, that I have been more than tolerable for a long time, that the city code specifically prohibits people from allowing their dog to yelp and howl to the detriment of the neighborhood, and informs them of the consequences of failing to comply with the city's code. It is a fine piece of diplomacy if I do say so myself. There is a firm tone, but it is entirely non-threatening.
The next step will be to call in the authorities and let them handle it. The letter is basically a warning shot.
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Monday, April 28, 2008
That Does It!!!
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1 comment:
Ah, Todd, your neighborly righteousness (and well-founded, it is) reminds me of these times:
"One-Way! One-Way!"
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