Hey everyone, I don't have a whole lot to holler at you about today but I'm sure it'll all build up into some lengthy post anyway. Top concern of the day: Argyle Sweater Vest Friday.ASV Friday's Not Looking Good
Today was the second installment of ASV Friday and we're already down to two participants. My ASV is already sub-par as far as argyle goes, and the other guy is complaining that it's too hot for a sweater even if it is only a vest. The third guy claims his is missing, but my theory is that someone snake-walked in through his dryer vent and snatched that prime article of clothing straight from his dryer. The winds of change have begun to blow.
DMR and I ran through all of the obvious choices for what to try next. We came up with bowling shirts, Hawaiian shirts, puffy pirate shirts, bow-ties, leopard print spandex pants, biker shorts - you know, the basics. These didn't seem to fit the basic idea behind the Friday dress code; we need something different.
I had the fleeting thought that we should get service guy shirts. You know the guys with the short sleeve shirts and the company badge on one chest and their name on the other. We checked out a few websites real quick and it became immediately apparent that Lab Coats would be much better.
I priced out a fully customized lab coat and I'll be honest, it wasn't cheap. We'd want the standard white coat with all the pockets, the embroidered name above the left breast pocket and an emblem of some sort over the right. The embroidery sample had the name "Eli Thompson" with his title "Medical Student" below (click for Eli's sample). Yup, that's the one I want. Next was the emblem, and it was immediately obvious that we needed the "Happy Tooth" emblem (click to see that happy tooth).
Of course, once we got pinched for the add-ons the price of the lab coats doubled. Perhaps we can eliminate the second line of text and just leave it at "Eli Thompson". There is still time to change the name but we're thinking that they should all be the same. OH MAN, I just had a thought...
The other guy who was helping me pick out the lab coats has the initials DR. So his name could be "The DR". I often go by the moniker "Original Recipe Todd" so "OR Todd" could be my name (OR is short of Operating Room in the hospital world). LMB could be "Len M.B.", and as for the rest of the people we'll have to come up with some ideas for them.
The point of having custom lab coats made up is so that not just anyone can copy us. If you're not in from the get-go you have to go out of your way to get in. Poseurs beware, we are the real deal.Sometime Google Doesn't Find the Easiest Route
A friend of mine directed me to this set of directions from Chicago, IL to London, England. It looks like your basic set of driving directions, that is until you hit step 20. Take a look-see for yourself.
Well, that's all I got. Peace out home slices.
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Friday, March 30, 2007
ASV may be DOA
Thursday, March 29, 2007
To All the Baby's Mamas
Well Cooterinos, sensing that my life could use a boost in the woman department, a good chum of mine of "Corbett Report" fame passed along a little love quiz. This is no Woman's Day quiz or something out of an Oprah publication; this is the real deal. I answered the questions as honestly as I could (which was completely honestly) and hit the "Find Your Super Lover Now" button.My Ideal Woman
This woman is a little older than I am, and at the moment I'm not sure whether she's divorced or widowed. She has two children and has lived a hard life. It's her ability to overcome adversity that I think makes us such a good match.
Her parents were both killed when she was younger, and she's had at least one miscarraige. Her marriage was often stressed by her childbearing difficulties, and at one point she totally lost it and went to the dark side. Since then, she's overcome great adversity and I can only assume is looking to settle down with a nice guy like me.
Did you see those butt dimples? That is one fine piece of ace! Her profile even mentions that she has clothing made of unstable particles so that she can easily turn them invisible. BO-NUS!
The Love Quiz also matched me up with Ms. Marvel, but her (ahem) 'womanly attributes' are a little too much for me. The third place runner up is a hot young vixen named Araña. I'm not sure she's old enough for me, but if things don't work out with Invisible Woman I might have to give Araña a jingle.
Big Ups again for MC, the master of ceremonies and bestselling author of "The Corbett Report" for bringing this quiz to my attention.
Editor's Note: 100% of printed copies of "The Corbett Report" sold within the first 15 minutes, they were literally still hot off the press. "The Corbett Report" is not printed by Old Coot Productions or any of its subsidiaries..
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Warmer Weather and I Hibernate
This has been one of those lather-rinse-repeat weekends where I get caught up in a cycle that I just can't break.Wake, Eat, Run, Eat, Sleep, Repeat
We had Friday off this week; thank you very much 9/80 schedule. I proceeded to try and sleep in, which was not allowed by the cats. It seems that they don't get the same satisfaction out of sleeping in and enjoying a late breakfast on the weekends that I do. In fact, they seem almost resistant to the very notion of postponing a meal whatsoever.
I've tried yelling, reasoning, bartering and ignoring all to the same end - utter annoyance. Best case scenario they just holler outside my door incessantly until I finally get up and feed them. Then they go back upstairs and holler some more. "Dude, I'm in the living room now!" They don't care, sometimes they just want to holler.Thursday Night, Overdone
Anyway, I sort of overdid it on Thursday night at the Thursday Night Run. We met at Matt Reilly's Pub on Rte 7 in Lanesboro. Or is it in Pittsfield? Who knows. All I know is that I was late and had to chase the group down, only to be in the front group busting my hump up and down the monstrous hills surrounding Pontoosuc Lake. Have you ever driven up Hancock Rd.? Cars don't even like that hill, and my legs/butt like it even less. Bull Hill Rd? Oh, the worst of them all. I was talked into "charging up that hill" by Coach "Bad Influence" Dave.
Friday morning when I awoke to the serenading screams of my cats, I was remound of the previous night's efforts. "Ah, ahh, ahhhhh" I said as I hobbled toward the door. It wasn't so much that my muscles were sore, as it was my joints that didn't work.
I took Friday off from running and pretty much everything else. There was a lot of laying on the couch to be done, as well as some napping and the occasional errand. Oh, I also got most of the lawn shoveled off onto the driveway. It was melting really fast until the last batch, which is still out there two days later. My bad.Saturday Morning, Overdone
Saturday morning I awoke to the same duet performing in the hallway, and rushed to get dressed because my ride was picking me up in 10 minutes for a run. I was told it would be about 10 miles by a known exaggerator, so I figured it would be more like 8 - a doable distance.
We met up with a guy named Ace who runs like he's having a seizure but could kick my ass any day of the week. He runs 70 miles a week and has a lifetime of achievements under his belt. His goal that day I think was to prove the his theory that you can overdress for a run. The guy who picked me up was wearing nylon warm-up pants and a windbreaker, with God only knows what underneath. Ace and I had on shorts and long sleeve t-shirts. The first guy was drenched by the end; Ace and I were quite comfortable.
Somewhere around mile 7 it became frighteningly apparent to me that my guess of 8 miles was way off. The funny thing about running is that if you plan on 8 miles that's as far as you're gonna go before your body starts begging for breakfast and a nap. Had I prepared for the real distance I would have been fine, but those last 5 miles (we totaled almost 12 that day) were pure suffering. Ace never missed a beat and told me story after story as we plodded up and down the hills of Lenox, MA.
After that, I went home and "rested". I didn't let myself nap, but I certainly didn't do any more than I had to.Sunday Morning, Overdone
This morning I awoke to the unpleasant knowledge that I had scheduled to run the "Bi-Lake Figure-Eight 5K (Plus 10 Miles)" with Coach "Bad Influence" Dave. The plan was to meet at 7:00 AM at a school, run the 13.1 miles (plus about another 3/4 mile of leftovers), then head to the Lumberjack Breakfast at the Girls' Club. If it hadn't been for that Lumberjack Breakfast there is no way in hell I would have been able to finish.
It wasn't until I was cooled down and stretched out that I realized if I had just run another 0.8 miles I could have finished a marathon in less than 24 hours. Damn!Lumberjacks Know What's Up
After the run I went home, changed, and hobbled my broken body over to the Girl's Club. I sat with an elderly couple who seemed to be very excited that I chose to sit with them. I don't know if the wife had a sty or just liked me, but she winked every time she spoke to me. Granny, if you were just 50 years younger I'd be all about it, but the Universe, well, she's a cruel matchmaker.
I managed to put down about 8-10 pancakes, a few scoops of eggs, a pair of sausages, ham, fried dough, potatoes and 3 cups of coffee before calling it quits. Coach "Bad Influence" Dave and his family sat with me when they arrived, and he was almost looking to make a challenge out of the "All You Can Eat" nature of the fundraiser. I knew better and limited myself to the aforementioned snack.
After breakfast was a nap. I dozed on and off for most of the afternoon. When I realized that the reason I couldn't get up was that the cats were smothering me, I tossed them to the floor and started in on a shopping list. The rest of my evening was much less fabulous, so I won't bore you with the details.
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Thursday, March 22, 2007
A Little Goes a Long Way
Good day, friends. I received the first of 180 mortgage payment bills yesterday for my new mortgage. Upon opening it, I was taken aback.A Little Here, A Lot There
As I have previously mentioned, my new mortgage will run me only slightly more than the old one, on a monthly basis. Heaven forbids me to pay the amount they demand for any loan; I always pay more for every loan I have. With the extra amount on top of the regular payment I'll be making some real headway.
A quick number crunch tells me that the new mortgage will cost me 7.69230% (repeating, of course) more per month, with a nearly 300% increase in the amount going to principle. Of course, by putting just a little more on top each month I'll get that 300% up even further in no time.
The moral of the story here is to skip right past the 30 year mortgage when you buy and go right for the 15 year jobber. And for God's sake, keep dumb broads off the paperwork!
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Monday, March 19, 2007
Conspiracy Theory
It wasn't until my new iPod shipped that the Check Engine Light came back on in my car. Wouldn't you know that it was about 3 minutes into an hour drive, with two hours of driving to be done later in the day. Killer. I'll get into why I think this is a conspiracy...C-O-N-Spiracy
First, what TV show is the title of this chapter a quote from? Give up?
In Living Color
As you all know, whether you're paranoid or not, someone is out to get you. In my case, I am paranoid but it doesn't help any. A short while ago I was telling you how I was torn between buying a new iPod to replace my failing iPod Mini and getting an OBDII tester to be able to perform diagnostics on my car. The Check Engine light was becoming an issue and I thought I should have a look-see.
After cleaning the gas cap, I hadn't seen the light come back on in a few weeks so I figured that meant I was in the clear. I pulled the trigger on the new iPod and patiently sat back awaiting its arrival. Wouldn't you know that once it shipped the light would come back on and stay on? And then the next day wouldn't you know my Mini would go off the blink?
I won't bore you with the details other than to say that the light has been on for half a tank, and I was driving to Albany (not Windsor) when it made its appearance. They aren't even the same direction, in fact they're quite the opposite.
So now I have the unfortunate dilemma of having to buy the scanner (or find someone at work with one) AND having to have a sweet new toy. Jeebus, you just like to watch me struggle with decisions only to punch me in the balls after I settle on a choice!Everywhere a TV
Not only do we have a TV in our cafeteria at work, but something wicked exciting was happening and I had to sit there not watching. Jeebus, I saw you through the window, don't think I don't know you were checking on me.
What you weren't expecting is that DA would stroll in right when everyone was saying "Oh wow, look at that!" and I was facing the complete other direction. I'm sure she thought I was staring at her, but I was really just not looking at the TV. I'd go explain myself to her but her henchman, CB, would probably get in my way. CB, she's not interested in you pal. Sorry.It's Here!
Nope, not the House of Pain CD, but that has been shipped. The woman was wicked apologetic, and even used the word 'wicked' in her apology. Bonus points? I think so. No, actually the new 80 GB iPod was in my mailbox when I got home today. Cha-ching.
I just finished syncing it up with all 15 GB of music on my PC. I even ripped a chunk of a movie to put on there, plus I tossed in some pics. Let's see, that leaves 65 gig left. I better start keeping tabs on that mess before I fill it up :-)
Actually, I'm hooking up some chill background music as I type. I found some nice podcasts that I'll keep up-to-date, and I'll be a-chillin all the time. And all for free. Hey Oh!
That reminds me. If anyone out there in Readerland knows of any good podcasts (you should have an idea of what I like), holler at a player. Then holler at me.
Over and Out,
Old Coot
