Will Waddle for Pie

Sup y'all. Not much to post here today but for consistency sake I'm tossing something up there.

Yesterday morning I awoke to my usual radio jabbering. I half listened while I made excuses for staying in bed "just ten more minutes". By 7:00 I was ready to get up, and I thought to myself "Shit! Yesterday I was supposed to set my clock forward! It's really 8:00!" I ran through some early morning logic and concluded that The Simpsons had been on at 8:00 My Time, so maybe I was okay. Had the clocks been changed it would have been on at 7:00.

At that point there was nothing I could do but lay in bed even longer waiting for them to give the time (and perhaps the weather). I heard neither and just checked the ole Sprint Standard Time on my mobile. "Phew, it's only 7:20." Which means I wasted 20 more minutes trying to decide how late I really was.

I got to work around 7:45, did some promised e-mailing that I had not been able to accomplish over the weekend, then set to work. I managed to keep myself so busy that I forgot to eat my 2nd breakfast until it was almost lunch time. Convenient, because I didn't have a real lunch and I wanted to work through it anyways. In the end, I accidentally worked until 6:45. That's a long day by my reckoning.

NEWS ALERT: I saw HECOW waddling around last night. He was even wearing a shirt that read "Will Waddle for Pie", and had 3rd degree blueberry burns on his face. HECOW, if you want your identity kept secret, and your little secret kept secret, I require $1 per day, paid monthly and in advance.

Speaking of pie, I love pie. I made the second of two Little Caesers blueberry pie kit pies last night and it was oh so delicious. And their secret ingredient (I have very sensitive taste buds) - DA DA DA DAAAA - deliciousness! But seriously, this pie contained the following ingredients: Bluberries, sugar, cornstarch, flour, shortening, and a dash of vanilla. Nothing more, nothing less, so you can imagine it was freaking good.

Well, I have more Qualification Test Plan writing to finish, so I must bid you adieu.

Peace in the Northeast,
Old Coot

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I *heart* (only) Upstate NY

Ahh, Monday morning. Folks, let me regale you in the splendidness of my weekend. Actually, there's nothing to tell, because splendid it was not.

So I was chilling at lunch with The Lunch Crew, discussing everyday life and how HECOW is so decrepit. A) He's crutching around like a wuss and B) He made a pregnant woman carry his lunch to the table for him. Weak.

All of a sudden, my mobile rings and it's my mother pleading for my assistance in packing up my sister. I had planned on straight up chilling all weekend, but family comes first and I agreed to make the dreaded trip to Spring Valley, NY one last time. I wanted to try out a more better route, so I consulted every map possible to guarantee I didn't get lost. My first hour or so went swimmingly, even the new section that I've never before tried. Then...

I got lost. A sign at my sister's exit had an arrow pointing to the RIGHT with the word "Airmont" next to it. I was in fact looking for Airmont Rd (or whatever type of thoroughfare it was) so I followed said road. It wasn't until I reached New Jersey that I realized I wasn't going to be finding my turnoff. As it turns out, the sign must have been pointing me to a city or town, not a road. That added the hour back onto my drive and increased my blood pressure to above average proportions.

The next day (Saturday) we packed up my sister and headed out in my car to the airport. That was another ordeal, which I won't discuss. I just hate the kind of traffic they have around there, and I was sleep deprived to boot. And hungry, and I needed coffee.

When we reached the terminal, my parents went in with my sister to see her off. I asked that they don't dawdle in case I couldn't just sit at the unloading area. They did not, and I had to drive all over the airport to get back. This was the perfect time for my mother to have her mobile on vibrate.

3 hours later we arrived back at my sister's house ready to pack up her stuff and get on the road. I ended up with more in my car than planned, but the van was PACKED to the brim. Eh, no biggie.

Then, we got lost on the way back to the NYS Thruway. I warned my parents that I should not lead, but they did not heed my warning and we went the wrong way. Eventually, I navigated by braille and got us to 87N, just in time to get stuck at an accident.

While I enjoy most of NYS, I feel I should have a t-shirt that specifically refers to that section of the state I like. I propose the following (yes, I made this myself)...



After that, it was smooth sailing. I got home around 5:30, 6:00. I had some dinner, put on a movie (that skipped) and went to bed. I slept until 11:00 Sunday morning.

Yesterday was much less eventful. I went for a nice long run and got snowed on. It was in the mid 40's, but it still managed to snow on me. At least it wasn't rain; thank you Jesus.

Lessons Learned:

• Never drive to Spring Valley, NYC, NJ, or JFK Airport ever again


• Just because you have 3 maps and written directions doesn't mean the navigational gods aren't still working against you


• My ass doesn't like riding in cars anymore


• Clean sheets make getting out of bed even harder (you didn't get the story, but it's self-explanatory)


• I need to buy a navigation unit for my car


• Let the dryer do its job. Your sheets won't dry on the bed, no matter how tired you are.

So there, that was my Monday rant. Everyone wish my sister good luck in Japan. She arrived yesterday in Tokyo and that's all I know.

P.S. Ab, I stopped over at Snicky's apt to drop off the cat stuff. Patti was out and about and letting us pet her (sans hissing). She even rolled around on the floor for me. The Rickster was fast asleep in the bedroom, I let him be.

I'm ghost,
Old Coot

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Someone lend me $350

GOOD MORNING PITTSFIELD, MASS (said like Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam)!!!

If anyone was so inclined to read last night's entry, you'll know I was up late Hard Blogging last night. I also lost another $350 to my laptop in a post-blog Solitaire binge. I think I need help.

As I lay in my bed this morning listening to the radio personalities on PYX106 talking about whatever they were talking about, I started to hear the sound of a truck backing up. The beeping got progressively louder and I assumed the truck is getting closer. After about half an hour, I started to get annoyed with this a$$hole who probably left his truck in reverse while he went home to eat breakfast. Then, during a brief moment of silence on the radio it occured to me that it wasn't a truck backing up, it was my roommate's alarm clock. Now, he's in Arizona on a house-hunting trip so it's not like he's being lazy this morning, he's not even there to shut the damn thing off. So despite my best intentions to not go into his room when he's not there (or really any time for that matter), I had to venture in to shut that freaking thing off.

Here's where things got complicated...

I sauntered up to the alarm clock ready to push the switch over to not only stop the current beeping, but also to prevent it from waking me up at the a$$ crack of dawn all weekend. But this was no ordinary alarm clock; turning off the alarm needing a series of button presses, passwords, a decoder ring, wi-fi access, two forms of government ID and a valid credit card (for authentication purposes only). Fear not, I was able to turn that mother out.

And if you're reading this JD, my tone is hilarity not annoyance. It made a good story, I'm not complaining.

And speaking of ineptitude, let me e-bust on HECOW a little. I told him yesterday that I had been thinking about it, and now's the time. This guy is not only not a weekend warrior, but he's more of a March-Madness-Basketball-Tourney-at-Work Warrior. And he's now recovering from his annual sprained ankle. To watch him crutch his ass around, you'd think both legs and an arm had been amputated. And to make it even better, the best recovery solution he's come up with is to sit around in his own filth. And to kick all of us healthy people in the nuts, the bastard gets in-plant parking (for people here at work, we know how coveted an in-plant parking pass is), which I can only assume will be milked for all it's worth.

Well, that's it. Apparently I had a lot to say since my midnight blogging binge last night.

P.S. To my e-stalker, I found yarn fibers near my e-mailbox. You're so busted.

Yours truly,
Old Coot

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Late night, great night

Good evening (said it like Count Chocula). It's 11:16 in the PM on Thursday night. I accidentally ate some gooey brownies (no, not that kind) and washed them down with coffee circa 10:00PM, so I'm wide awake now. This gives me some time to work on my blogging when my brain is in a different mode from my usual blog-time.

Before you read on, I want to warn you that if you are having a bad day or had a bad day yesterday, or just plain don't like to hear about other people having good days, you should abandon this blog and come back tomorrow, for today was a good day.

For some reason, it hadn't dawned on me until almost 6:00 tonight as I was pounding the pavement on Williams St that my spirits were through the roof. Due to some self-protective mechanism, I find that I've been on a very even keel mentally for the last year or so - no highs, no lows. It's a nice break from my previous bout with depression (I believe the rest of you called it 2004), but it affords me no highs, I just am.

Today was not like that, and it took running down the street in uncooperative shorts (but shorts in March nonetheless) for Jay-Z to point it out to me. Actually, it was Jadakiss who said "Gangstas don't die, they get chubby and move to Miami". I'm not sure why that made my day since I'm not a gangsta, I don't aspire to get chubby and I couldn't care less about Miami (I'm a Bills fan, eff the Dolphins). But at that point something clicked and I knew today was a good day.

Plus, let me tell you something else I don't think you'll care about. I had been reading on my running forum about how you're really supposed to run if you don't want to beat your knees to a pulp. It turns out that the old heel-to-toe technique is no good. You should be on the balls of your feet, moving at 180 steps/minute. So I tried that and OH MY ASS was it good. I'm sure my calves will be screaming at me tomorrow, but it worked great. Somehow I even shaved something like 6 minutes off my 10K time. That's unreal, I was down to 7.5 min mile as opposed to an 8.5 minute mile. Anyone who runs on the regular knows that taking a minute off your mile is HARD, and somehow I did it in one day. I give credit to this new technique and Mother Nature for her inspirational weather.

I'm not really a stickler for time when I run, usually it's more like I just want to finish up before it's time for dinner. I'm really more into running for the mental clearing aspect of it (plus I like to be able to eat dessert everyday and not worry about gaining weight). But today I strapped on the watch and kept tabs.

Well, I'll leave you all be now. I have a serious debt to Windows Solitaire that I think I'm going to try to win back now. As of last night, I owe my laptop $1995. Blast me and my addictions.

Over and out,
Old Coot

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Target is letting me down

I'm working on my blog motivation these days, trying to keep this puppy alive and well. Yesterday, I received my first comment from someone I don't know personally. It was great, and it tells me that I'm worthy of being e-stalked, plus it adds to my blogivation. Any more lurkers out there?

Well, nothing more has changed since yesterday so I'm going to use this entry as a soapbox from which I will voice my complaints with the new Target store that finally opened. Yes, we have a Target, and yes it seems to be pretty nice. I was afraid it would be ghetto like every other store we get (ahem, Home Depot). However, I've been there twice this week in a fruitless search for a pair of bedside tables. I found one I liked, but they only had one. I found another that I liked, again they only had one. The real kick in the balls is that the first one (that I liked the most) was on sale and included a $20 gift card if you buy two. Of course, they cover their ass on that one by only having one in stock. DAMN!

So I left the store empty-handed. I was also going to buy a cat grooming set to cut my cats' nails, but I didn't like it that much and I was pissed about the table situation. They didn't sell just the scissors either, you had to buy the set. Here's my beef on the grooming set: who the hell needs a whole set to cut their cat's nails? It came with a chintsy cutter and a file, as if cats enjoy getting their nails did and would sit still while you file them. The price was right, but I didn't get it out of principle.

Well, it's one day closer to the weekend so I'm trying to get my spirits lifted. I have my Oat Bran concoction here, a hot coffe and some drawings to review. Life doesn't get much better than this. I'm finally going to get back out with the running crew tonight, so that's a bonus. I may even try running with The Fast Group if The Crazy Group isn't going out. The Fast Group is, as their name implies, fast. They also run roads, of which I'm not uber fond these days. But they're also fun and their run begins and ends at a restaurant where I think everyone has dinner. How fun!

So that's all I have to say about that. Drop me a comment if you're so inclined, perhaps a name suggestion for the Silver Soob (my car, if you don't already know). So far, Tinsel Wagon is the front runner but it's a little fruity if you know what I mean.

Over and out,
Old Coot

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