With the success of yesterday's post reviewing the first day of my trip, I'm back again to regale you in my adventures for the second day of travel. This included the flight from Chicago to Nagoya, Japan and has a few key notes for anyone out there who might be traveling internationally in the near future.Don't Be Greedy
My second flight (first of the second day) from Chicago to Nagoya was called a non-stop flight. And by non-stop, the good folks at United Airlines mean you'll be stopping in San Francisco to change planes, and generally fend for yourself. I'll get to that part in minute.
I awoke to a cacophony of alarms - if you remember I had set three to wake me so I wouldn't miss my flight. First came the mobile telephone alarm, which takes a few button presses to silence for good. Before I had that figured out, the hotel wake-up call chimed in further confusing my less than rested brain. As I started to come to, my watch fired off its alarm confirming to my brain that there was some reason I had to get up that morning. Ah yes, to catch a flight.
I got up, fixed my two complimentary cups of coffee and hopped in the shower. Cleaned and refreshed I quickly put down the first cup of coffee, and emptied the second cup into a standard paper "to go" cup provided by the hotel - a nice touch, packed up my stuff and checked out.
Back in the main area of the airport, I again went through security hoping for enough time to get some breakfast. I arrived to late at the hotel to catch dinner and left to early for breakfast, and the Clif Bars and Fig Newtons just weren't holding me over. No such luck. At some point I must have acquired a Starbucks coffee, because it's cup comes into play in the following story.Was that Necessary?
I boarded the flight to San Francisco with my Starbucks coffee, wishing it was fuller. Remembering that United serves the SB on their flights I felt at ease.
Once in the air, the flight attendants came around with the drink cart with their normal offerings. I asked politely for a coffee, and asked if I could have it in my own cup. The flight attendant quickly cut me down stating that she had to have enough for all of the passengers. I responded stating that I didn't like the foam cups because they tend to spill on me, and if she would put the same amount in my cup, I would appreciate it. She ignored my request, and when she brought my Styrofoam cup of coffee over she thrust it into my hand spilling a large amount onto my pants, book, iPod and all down my hand. I quickly held it over the aisle to avoid spilling more onto my lap, looked her in the eye and asked her "Was that really necessary?" She turned away as if nothing had just happened. Wench.
I poured the remaining contents into my own SB cup (complete with lid) and held the worthless Styrofoam cup waiting for it to dry. When the second flight attendant passed (you know how they work two to a cart), she noticed my empty cup and asked if I'd like another coffee. "Yes, that would be great" I said. I added that to my own cup and VOILA, a full cup. Take that you ornery bitch!The Wench Gets her Revenge
Later in the flight, the flight attendants came down the aisle collecting garbage and so on. As luck would have it, I got the ornery bitch again and as she reached over me to collect my neighbor's trash, she poured the backwash of someone else's Coke onto my lap. Without restraint, I fired off my response: "Are you fucking kidding me?" Taking pleasure in my sewer of a lap, she simply collected our cups and moved on. I don't know if I look like someone she doesn't like or the woman is just a royal bitch, but I did nothing to offend her other than boarding her flight. If the United attendants wore name tags I surely would have complained to the folks in charge upon my arrival in Japan.
United Airlines, if you're reading I was on Flight 831 (7:10 AM) out of Chicago on July 21st. I'll be happy to speak to customer service regarding my complaints.Non-Stop has a New Meaning
When we touched down in San Francisco, they informed us that we would be making a short stop to change planes. A short stop on a non-stop flight, gotcha. What they didn't tell us that they would not be directing us to our new plane. Our instructions were to inquire at the United desk at our gate for directions to the next flight. As luck would have it, that desk was unmanned.
I looked at the departures board and found my flight was boarding at Gate 100, check. Now, scanning the gate signs it became painfully obvious that the gates were numbered 1-96. Hmm, no gate 100. I wandered around aimlessly for a while until I came across a small sign reading something to the effect of "Transport to International Terminal". As I walked up to the sign, an international looking woman quickly walked up to me and ushered me off to an unmarked door, leading to some behind-the-scenes area. It was there that I boarded an unmarked bus with other international looking people, where we were shuttled off to the International Terminal. The whole thing was pretty shady, and I found it hard to believe that that's how they run their airport. Whatever, I found where I was supposed to be.A Pain in the Ass
The bulk of my flying was yet to come, and I boarded the last flight with a fear in my heart. You see, I was seated in the middle of 5 seats, in the front row, on a 9+ hour flight. My good fortune won out as I noticed there was a TON of leg room in the front row. I took my seat, whipped out a book and tried to get comfortable. Over the course of the flight the seat became less and less comfortable, to the point where I thought I'd have to have some sort of gluteus maximus surgery. My ass muscles (really, more like my hamstrings) were so sore by the end of the flight it hurt to both stand and sit. Killer.
Whew, that's all I have for you right now. Thanks for listening, it gets MUCH better I assure you.
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Japan Trip - Vol II
Saturday, August 04, 2007
First Vacation Installment
Good morning everyone, today I'm going to give you a brief rundown of Day 1 of my vacation. I'm also going to include a section entitled "Diary of a Mad White Man", an excerpt of some notes I had taken while traveling. I didn't have my laptop on hand, so I took old fashioned hand written notes when I had the chance.Leg 1 - Albany to Chi-Town
My flight out to Chicago was late in the day on Friday 7/20. JO graciously offered to take me to the airport and pick me up when I got back, saving me the trouble and expense of leaving my car in long term parking (Economy Lot E, yo). It also saved me the trouble of figuring out how the hell to get to the airport when an accident had a major road closed for 3 exits. Since I don't listen to the radio when I drive I wouldn't have found out about this until my car was securely lodged in bumper-to-bumper mayhem.
At the security checkpoint in the Albany airport, I was delighted to find only one woman ahead of me. She was not boarding a flight, but rather seeing a grandchild off, and her lack of luggage, carry-ons, 4 oz. bottles of toiletries, laptops and film-based analog cameras whisked her through with a pleasant efficiency.
I unloaded my quart sized Zip-Loc bags into a bin, slapped my backpack (read: personal item) and carry-on onto the conveyor and eased my feet out of my Crocs. Folks, I'll reiterate this point in almost all of my future write-ups of this trip: Crocs are AWESOME! I don't care how trendy they are or how ridiculous they look, them shits is the BAAMB! They're ideal for airplane travel, as they slide on and off without laces yet stay put until you truly want them off. Plus they're just freaking comfy. Damn!
Oh, let me back up a hair. When I checked in at the United desk, the agent at the desk was pretty helpful and seemed to enjoy my Hawaiian shirt (almost a little too much if you know what I mean). He offered to upgrade my seating to something with more leg room for what I found to be an exorbitant amount of money - I declined.
Upon boarding the plane it was evident that everyone else had also declined the offer, as every single one of those seats was empty. When the pilot turned off the seat belt light and told us to feel free to move about the cabin, I felt free to move about the cabin into a more spacious seat. {Georgia Mass Choir}UP-GRAAAADE{/Georgia Mass Choir}.Layover #1
My first flight touched down in Chi-town and I set forth to find the Hilton "Conveniently Attached to O'Hare Airport". I couldn't find any signs directing me to the hotel, so I asked a gentleman in an airport uniform. His response was priceless:"Down the stairs, down the stairs, on your left"
Easy enough, but it left one question unanswered; where were the stairs? He clarified his previous response with:"Down the stairs, down the stairs, on your left"
I see. Maybe I had to be more specific. "Are the stairs just right around this corner?" I asked. Finally he gave me more explicit directions:"Down the stairs, down the stairs, on your left"
"Thanks, you've been very helpful" I told him and set forth to find the damn place myself. Navigating a maze of tunnels, doorways and escalators I found myself lost. Eventually I found the hotel, but still couldn't find my way to the check-in desk which was not called a check-in desk. The hotel map neglected to include a "You are here" sticker so I just found which floor most likely contained a check-in-like area and got on the elevator. It was possible that the elevator would return me to my original floor, but I had no way to know which floor I was on in the first place. What ever happened to just using plain old numbers for floors? They had something like 3 floors with names, then the numbers started. Christ, don't they know I'm tired and have to wake up in 4 hours?
The room, however, was pretty freaking nice which I guess I would expect for $180 a night (that's almost $45 per hour for me). I made sure to use up all of the coffee and tea (and fancy travel cups they give you) to get the most out of that room. I also sat in all of the chairs and even turned on the TV to watch a documentary about a heroin addict. Ahh junkies, so documentable.
Before turning in, I set up a wake-up call for 4:00 AM, set the alarm on my mobile telephone, set the alarm on my watch and made a mental note to get up early. I don't like taking chances when traveling.Diary of a Mad White Man
These were some of my thoughts while sitting in the Albany airport awaiting my first flight...Sitting in the living room section of the secured area of the concourse, sipping a latte, listening to the air conditioned sounds of Jack Johnson in my Hawaiian shirt I await the first leg of my first international journey.
Occasionally flicking off the noise cancellation feature of my headphones I'm reminded that the Gadget Gods were indeed smiling on me when I found these gems, allowing me to transcend the aural living space of the masses. I am part of the acoustic elite.
When I referred to the "air conditioned sounds of Jack Johnson", the "air conditioning" was performed by my new headphones (Audio-Technica ATH-ANC7). Over the course of my travels I found them to be invaluable. After looking for a link for them, I see that Amazon has since found them to be less valuable than they were three weeks ago, by about 33%. Damn, I paid a lot more for them, but they were worth every cent. I have two words for you: Go Buy Them Shits for Yourself, Son.
The picture below is intended to show the simple comforts I enjoyed at the airport. A nice coffee table, view of the airstrip, latte and killer tunes made my wait all the nice.
So that was the first leg of my trip. I'll treat you to more stories at a later date so you don't gobble the whole trip up in one gluttonous reading frenzy. Peace out bitches.
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
News from the Front
People, T minus Two Days before my departure to Chicago. T minus Three Days before my departure to Japan. Things are slowly coming together and I'm really hoping to have everything packed up by Thursday night so I don't have to take the whole day off on Friday. We'll see.End of the Line
There I was, whacking weeds in the front yard when the weed whacker made a sound I never heard before. It wasn't the sound of a rock being tossed into a car, because I've heard that before. No, it was the sound of the last piece of string flying out of the head. Well, damn. I've only had the thing for a few years and just haven't had a chance to buy more string. You know, I've been busy.
So now I'm going to be leaving for two weeks and my walkway is half trimmed. I'm sure by the time I get back I won't be able to see some of the stones, as the big fat late summer grass will have completely enveloped it.Full Time Maid Needed
Over the course of the last few months, I've spent as little time in my house as possible. As a result, I've spent even less time tending to things of a domestic nature. As a result of that, in the last week I've spent every night just doing laundry. How can one person generate 9 loads of laundry and still have clothes on his back? Christ! Granted, a few loads were sheets, duvet covers, towels (I use a lot these days), but still.
As if that's not enough, when the laundry (and subsequent packing) is done, I have to clean the whole damn house. This I know for certain hasn't been done in a la-la-la-la-long, a la-la-la-la-long-long-lee-long-long time.
Bonus points, name that tune.
So what I'm looking for is a full time maid: mid twenties, French, willing to work for free room and board. The cats generate roughly three cats worth of fur per day, so she would pretty much have to follow them with a vacuum during the heat of the day. Another hour or two would be spent washing my freaking tupperware, which I seem to get dirty at the rate of one dishwasher load per day, and the last few hours she would have to pick up after my slovenly ass. Most things could probably go in the trash (or recycle bin, or composter) but I'm a pack rat and don't have the discipline to get rid of anything until I've tripped over it carrying two baskets full of laundry (with laptop balanced on top, and a coffee).The Silence is Deafening
If you haven't already been a part of my running commentary on noise canceling headphones, I researched them for this trip. I forget exactly what the number is, but I think I'm in the air for something like a bazillion hours. Anyone who's been on a plane that long knows that the hum of the engines combined with the uncomfortableness of cranked up headphones makes for one cranky passenger.
So, I bought these puppies. They showed up on my doorstep yesterday and once I figured out how to get the battery (active noise canceling means you need a battery) into the things I was blown away. They cover your ears, so there's already some noise isolation, but when you flick that switch the only way to describe it is like the first breath of air-conditioned air in the middle of a muggy August day, but for your ears. It actually made me take a deep breath when I "heard" it. I turned them on and off a few times to make sure it wasn't just my imagination and it's great. You can still hear stuff, but the constant hum of traffic and even my own breathing were almost completely eliminated.
If you're fortunate enough to live near me, I can let you try them some time. But be warned, you just might have to get your own pair.
"You must become an old man in good time if you wish to be an old man long." By Marcus T. Cicero
Marcus, I'm way ahead of you man.
Over and Out,
Old Coot
