Don't Get Your Hopes Up

Alright, I've been badgered from urry urrngle about blogging but that's not why I'm writing. I just watched a Woody Allen movie and I'm all tensed up and thought this would be a nice way to unwind.

Editor's Note: The Old Coot gets into some shit here, so if you don't like foul language or hearing the truth about stuff, please point your web browser elsewhere. The rest of you, come on in.

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But For Real

A couple of weeks ago I started to get the feeling that I was losing creative control over my day-to-day life. You remember when Dave Chapelle turned down the $50M contract and fled to Africa? Well, it was a lot like that only it was free and I just stayed home.

I won't get into details, because to most people it would only come across as whining. And what does a swinging bachelor like me have to complain about anyway? I have nothing but free time, right? Right, that's the problem right there. Why shouldn't I do one more thing I don't want to do? It'll make someone else happy, and I have no real reason not to.

Yeah, well that culminated in a near breakdown. I was literally on the hairy edge, ready to snap at the next person who so much as asked me if I wanted free money. I was closing in on being late to my Thursday Night Run (which you know I love) and the guy I work for said "So you working this weekend?" (which you know I hate). I looked him right in the face and laughed at him, but he wasn't laughing. He suggested I speak to the manager about some sort of alternative compensation. You see, overtime has been squashed as part of a company-wide re-evaluation of our work-life balance, so now we have more crises and nobody wants to put in any extra effort. HEY, ASK THE SINGLE GUY! HE'S GOT NOTHING TO DO!

I told him I was in no way agreeing to ever work overtime, but I'd speak to the manager because it seemed important to him, like there was more to it than having me work a few extra days each week. I was right, there was an agenda and it wasn't necessarily for me to work any extra but rather to get the message to management that nobody wants to fucking work for free.

Then I missed my run and like the bitch I am I stayed later than everyone else (for free) and finished up something I knew would be negated by an arbitrary high-level decision first thing Monday morning.

Fast forward to Monday morning - my work was not only for naught, but I had to undo it.

Whoa, I guess I went into detail.

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But That Was Weeks Ago

Yeah, so I've been spending a lot of greedy, selfish, introspective time with the most understanding person I know, no god damn body. I gotta tell ya, it's been great. I do whatever I damn well feel like doing, whenever I damn well feel like doing it, and if someone doesn't like it that's too bad. I don't accommodate!

I don't get into the eggstra juicy details on this here blogge for obvious reasons. I'm sure if we all took a step back there'd be something about ourselves we don't want published on the internet. What I will say is I have really been enjoying this break; man did I need it.

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So What's New?

Well, I've started training for a half marathon in a couple of months. It's a three-month training plan that goes against every fiber in my running body. My fibers all say "Run as fast as you can, as long as you can, then criticize yourself and push harder tomorrow". But the guy who wrote this plan has me taking "easy" days - slow, slow, slow pace for short distances and only one speed work day a week.

The first few weeks were tough. Getting yourself psyched to run 4 miles (sorry, that's a short distance) in the 34 degree blowing rain is tough. If I'm going to run in the cold and wind and rain it better be for 10+ miles, dammit! But I'm sticking true to the plan and it's paying off handsomely.

The most notable feature of this new style is that I'm not sore anymore. I kind of forgot what it was like to not walk around in agony every day of my life. You get used to a certain amount of pain and just deal with it, but it turns out you can be a real runner and not have all of your muscles, tendons and joints ache every day of the week. Huh, who knew?

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So You're Running Less? Then What?

Well, with all of my extra free time I've been practicing yoga. I'll wait while you laugh.

Yeah, so on top of all the other non-masculine things I do why play the y-card? Because I'm freaking selfish, remember? If you haven't tried yoga, and I don't mean take a class because some chick you like is going, but actually tried, you should. It just makes you feel good.

I actually get up early and spend some time with a few sequences that uplift me for the day. It's easy to keep going once you've started too, because at the end is not a big chocolate cake you're dying to eat but on the contrary, work.

And then after one of those weak 3-milers on my schedule I take an hour or so (no clocks, that's my rule) and go through some poses. After that a nice 9:00 PM supper, brush my teeth and hit the hay. All that leaves no time for blogging.

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So there you have it home bizzles and home grizzles. I have a few unposted rants, but I think this one will make it through editing and publication.

P.S. Oh man, I finished up my taxes today and it feels great. I'm so lazy about that, but now that it's done I just have to sit back and wait for the cash to roll back in. Oh, and by finish I mean I still have to e-file but that's Monday after I print out all 283 forms for my records.

Now for bed, I have to run in the morning!

Over and Out,
Old Coot