Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I've Got the Trots

Ha ha, gotcha. You saw that headline and couldn't help but to read about what you thought was something nasty. Instead, you've been duped...


Bizack on Trizack

Yesterday, I had the trots. I trotted around the local HS track during Tuesday Night Track Club, hosted by and primarily attended by, yours truly. I'm working on a few race goals that I won't mention here because either: A) Frankly, my dears, you don't give a damn, B) You might give a damn but my goals are embarrassingly slow, or C) You would be so jealous of my speedy goals (in addition to your growing jealousy of my killer good looks and fabulous lifestyle) that you'll drive by my house and bust a few warning caps through my picture window's ass. Whichever the case, I don't like the outcome.

Since you asked, Tuesday Night Track Club reached an all-time high record attendance last night of two people. There's nothing formal at all about it, and in fact the term 'club' is really misleading. It's not so much a club as much as it is me trying to get people to come run at the track with me because I'm afraid of the high school riff-raff that might be loitering about, trying to rob my fine, fine ass. Of course, all they'd get is a lesbian-mobile and maybe a bottle of Gatorade if they're lucky, but they don't know that.


I've Got the Trots

Next on my agenda of Trot-related bloggetry are the two upcoming Trots I'm signed/signing up for. The first, The Brock Trot is next weekend down in Lenox, MA. It's a 10K fund raiser for The Brock Wilkerson Memorial Cancer Research Fund. Seriously, the application says to "Make checks payable to The Brock Wilkerson Memorial Cancer Research Fund". Try to fit all that shit on a check. Christ!

Oops, now when someone Googles that race they'll find my public complaint.

Last year I ran that race in a sailor costume, complete with embellished arms. Originally, the plan was for everyone from my running crew to show up in costume, but apparently they didn't take that as seriously as I did, and I was the lone costume wearer. Whatever, I smoked them fools anyway!

This year I'll be wearing the same costume and pushing for a PR in the 10K distance. Since I've only run one other 10K, that should be easy.

The next Trot I'm signed up for is the 112th Annual Turkey Trot in B-lo. My sister used to run it with me, but she's since moved far, far away and doesn't want to make the drive. I've tried to get my mom to walk it with me, but she's not interested. Instead, I'm gonna line up at the front and show some people how it's done. Ya hurrrrd!


Folgers Whitening

As I sipped the second half of my second cup of coffee this morning, a co-worker and fellow Cheap Ass Coffee Club member, LB asked if the coffee tasted funny to me. I thought it was a rhetorical question, because it always tastes funny to me. We drink crap, hence the name Cheap Ass Coffee Club.

Well, LB did some investigating and found that there was a noticeable aroma of chlorine emanating from the water jugs we fill for the coffee makers. Either someone "cleaned" the jugs or they've added a little too much chlorine to the water supply. Either way, my teeth are whiter for having drank it. Also, I feel like crap.

I told my lead at work that if I'm not in tomorrow it's because I'm dead. He told me that was fine, as long as I made up the time on Sunday.


Well Cooterinos I hope that satisfied your craving for quality bloggetization. I've got to get in a run, have dinner, hang the laundry and get my act in order for work tomorrow. Dang.

Over and Out,
Old Coot

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"Something inside of me just said 'Hey, wait a minute, I want to beat him.' and I just took off." -Pre