Apparently there was a little confusion regarding the term Jesus-Stepping so I'd like to clear that up while it's still fresh in everyone's mind.
Walking on Water
As we all know, Jesus could walk on water. That's a given. As the saying goes, "The shoes don't make the man" so his Air Jesus kicks are not the reason for his super powers. Nope, the guy was just talented.
My sister commented on my use of "Jesus-Stepping" and wondered if I was referring to that little half-step you sometimes use when you need to cross a puddle. It was Big Daddy Kane who put it best when he said:Aw yeah
Im with this
Im just gonna sit here laid back to this nice mellow beat, you know
And drop some smooth lyrics
Cause its '88
Time to set it straight, knowwhatimsaying
And aint no half stepping
Word
Ain't no half steppin' indeed.
The puddle across which I Jesus-Stepped was no ordinary puddle that would allow for the simple technique of half-steppin'. No, this was more of a road pond, 30' in diameter and deep enough to soak a shoe.
When I hit the puddle I was at full sprint. My watch clocked me at close to 20 MPH, but it's really a rolling average so it was probably more like 40 MPH. I am certain that when my feet passed over the puddle, not only did I not sink through to the pavement I didn't even disturb the water, just like Jesus does. Ya hurrrrd?!?
Over and Out,
Old Coot
Friday, March 16, 2007
Ain't No Half-Stepping
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Pay it Forward
I got some stories for ya today, which I hope to break up into a few posts to ensure you've always got the hot shit to read.Thanks for the Break
Last night as I was dragging my sorry ass down Elm St at the end of my run, I had long given up on dodging puddles and just let them splash all over me. All of a sudden mine eyes met a puddle that was a foot deep if it was an inch. Trucks were throwing water halfway up onto the adjacent lawn; this puddle meant business.
Unfortunately for yours truly, the puddle stretched from the curb to almost the double-yellow lines so if there was any traffic I had to head for the lawn where I would surely be soaked. As luck would have it, there was a break in the traffic.
Seizing this moment to circumnavigate the puddle, I headed for the center of the street. Just then, my eyes met the headlights of an oncoming car and I could sense a challenge. I picked up the pace and from what I could tell, so did the driver of that car. As we closed the gap it became blatantly obvious that one of us was going to have to yield or I was going to be killed. Yield schmield, I kicked it up a notch.
Dropping the hammer, I accelerated to top speed and Jesus-stepped across the center of the puddle. If the driver was so inclined he still could have still caught the puddle and soaked the hell out of me, but he slowed as he approached the puddle letting me pass.
I appreciated that gesture and vowed to pay it forward.Paid in Full
This morning as I drove to work in the early morning fog, I made a turn onto a road known (by me) for it's juicy puddles. I swerved this way and that to make sure to hit all of them and as I accelerated towards the plumpest puddle I was able to make out the figure of a man walking on the sidewalk. The devil on my shoulder was yelling at me to go for it, but my good nature won in the end and I quickly side-stepped the puddle sparing the guy a mud bath.
What I should have done is gone back and told him to pay it forward. I could have soaked him but didn't, and the next time he faces such temptation I'd like him to take the righteous route.
Now that my debt is paid in full, I dare someone to walk next to a road pond. No, I double-dare them!
Over and Out,
Old Coot
P.S. I'd like to thank LB for his contribution to this post. While I was leaning toward "Jesus-Stepped" I had a few other options and he stepped up to the challenge. It was LB's unbiased opinion that sealed the deal on that phrase.
