Alright, I have a problem and I thought I had it under control, but I don't. It's not one of my regular problems, it's one that is fortunately secret to me, but today I'm going to fess up in the hopes that taking that first step will be enough to help me through it.I Want to Be Dave Chappelle
I was watching some YouTube videos last night of some of Chappelle's skits and standup performances. Whenever I watch even one skit, I can't help but to start using his delivery with my own internal monologue. The hardest part is that my whiteness prevents me from saying half the stuff I think. Not that what I'm thinking is derogatory, but Dave often uses what I'll call the N-word, which is not Kosher for a white boy like me.
Shit, can I use the word "Kosher" if I'm not Jewish? To be safe I'll call that the K-word from here on out.Sunday Long Run
Yesterday was a pivotal day for yours truly. I had my usual Sunday long run, but it was unusually long. Sure it was only a mile longer than the next longest run (excluding the one where I got lost as hell and did 5.5 extra miles), but what was beauteous about it is that I felt great and kicked the shit out of it.
As luck would have it, four people showed up which made my day. The weather was less than ideal, but since the route could be summed up with a a single solitary word: My Happy Place, it didn't matter what Mother Nature served up I loved it.
We ran the first lap at slightly above what I would consider a "conversational pace", meaning I could have gone faster and still held my half of a conversation. After that lap a few people headed for home while three of us headed back out again. The other two were only going to do a few more miles then head back, leaving me to finish the route on my own. No biggie. What I wasn't planning on was that the other two would be picking up the pace. We were cruising along when they turned off to head back. Amazed that I had been able to maintain that pace I kept up the same effort level (which would have been the same pace if the road would not have been so hilly) for the next few miles.
As my watch beeped signaling the end of mile 15 I was still about half a mile from the car and just an eentsy bit above it, elevation-wise. I used my powerful imagination to put another runner on the road ahead of me, giving me someone to pick off in the final stretch to the imaginary finish line. Well, that person got more than a mouthful of my dust, the poor bastard.
Monday's Rest Day
After the longer Long Runs, my training plan gives me a rest day. They do point out that "rest" can mean "cross-train", so I took advantage of the warmer weather and went for what would be an ass-kicking 35 mile bike ride. For the most part it was very casual, at a very conversational pace. However, the route would take us across three town lines (and back) meaning there were 6 Town Line Sprints, which I swept.Back at the meeting spot we shot the shit for a few minutes then I decided it was time to hightail it back home. The sun had already set and it was getting D-A-R-K. I still had a bit of a ride to get home, so I cranked out an ass-whooping of a 7 mile all-out effort. I wasn't wearing my heart rate monitor (HRM), but I'm sure the display would have read "One at a time, please" or "Lance, give Old Coot his HRM back".
Happy Birthday, Kittens
In a coincidence that I won't explain, my cats' birthdays are both today, Cinco de Mayo. Okay, I'll explain...Who the hell ever knows their pets real birthdays? I never do. So I figured they were probably born at some time in the spring, and what spring day do people usually celebrate without exception but 5/5? When I picked that date I couldn't imagine a time when there wouldn't be a party for the cats to enjoy. As we all know, I don't party down like I used to so it's really just business as usual for my buds. I give them extra attention in the form of slaps, wall smashes and the kind of petting they can feel, where their eyelids end up higher than their eyeballs. In reality that's probably better for them than a bunch of drunks hooting, hollering, and running the blender until all hours.
Happy Birthday, boys.
P.S. K-word Dill Pickles. That shit is funny, son. Uhn!
Over and Out,
Old Coot
2 comments:
Happy Cinco de Birthday, Nanners and Binners!
And yes, KwDP IS hilarious.
I'm a loser. I actually know the date of my cats' b-days -- May 19th (according to the adoption papers) -- Ozzy and Harriet turn 2 this year. Last year I made them something from my "cat cookbook" ... they hated it ... ungrateful bitches ...
Post a Comment