I have "The Knack"

I need to stop making grandiose claims on the interweb, because I'm not what you would call a "closer". I mentioned yesterday that I was going to do all sorts of lawncare after work. And I had every intention of following through with that plan. That is, until something better came along. I ended up going for a run where I was forced once again to describe what it is I do for a living.

Now, people think "Oh, you're an engineer. You work in the defense industry. That must be so exciting, getting to build cool stuff all the time." When I try not to dash their hopes and dreams of living vicariously through my job, I find that I can't actually describe what it is I do. Not that I have some legal obligation to keep my mouth shut for fear of being tried for Treason. Nope, I don't know anything that could be useful to anyone other than the average Microsoft Office user.

You see, what we do is often called Powerpoint Engineering. And engineering is not as cool as they make it look on TV. Combine that with being a military contractor and you take something mildly boring and introduce all of the overhead associated with government work (think red tape) and sometimes you want to shoot yourself in the face. But then one day you actually get to see something you've designed and you're good for another 6 months.

Which brings me to my point: there should be a politically correct term for "engineer"! People have the wrong idea about us, and it's high time we get a better reputation. Sure, there are some extra power nerds out there who hang on to their slide rules and pocket protectors, but the rest of us are pretty cool guys. I suppose I should use the word "people", but there are so few women in the business, "guys" is a safe enough approximation. Not only do we make great money (okay, no we don't) but we also understand how almost everything works. We have what's called "The Knack". And if we don't already know it, we can figure it out pretty quickly. And for those out there who can't do that, they know they can just ask me and I'll tell them. Yes, we're handy sons-of-bitches to have around. So people, cut us a freaking break.

We were tossing ideas around the tri-cube area today and the best idea (or only idea) that came up was "stud". While that surely describes yours truly, it's not a broad enough description to cover all the nerdy-looking dudes. I have some of my best engineers on the job, hopefully we can come up with something. I encourage all of you in Readerland to write in with suggestions.

But keep them nice, lest I should smack you with my slide rule!

Over and out,
Old Coot

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I need Homer's Spine-o-cylinder

Good afternoon. Today is Monday and I'm doing my damndest to make sure nobody can claim I have a Case of the Mondays. I do not, so don't try and say I do. If it weren't for this little thing I have to do at work today, I would have taken the day off. I have lawncaring that needs to be done, a garage that needs reorganizing, a lawnmower that either needs a new blade or I have to sharpen the old one, a plant that needs repotting, a dozen cookies that need eating, a gallon of milk that needs drinking and I wouldn't mind getting started on fixing the rock wall next to my driveway. But, since work is once again getting in the way of my good time I'm going to complain about it.

Yesterday I got out, bought some groceries, then set to work thatching the lawn. I started this project about a week ago and only quit because it got dark. I had a beautiful day ahead of me, so I got to work circa noon. Let me tell you, thatching is nothing like traditional raking. It's a real ballbuster of a chore. It took me about 4.5 hours to finish the job and I think I generated 7 huge bags of stuff to take to the compost joint. I'm not living on any massive estate either, I have no idea how I can get that much material out of my lawn, but I did.

My goal today is to pick up some peat moss, lay down some seed and starter fertilizer and cover it with the aforementioned peat moss. Of course, I'll need to water it in so the moss doesn't blow away (as it's prone to do) which is another favorite lawncare job of mine. Basically, I like every aspect of lawning with the exception of bagging up stuff I've raked. Raking okay - bagging not okay.

After I finished thatching, I went inside to just chill the fuck out. And what can be more relaxing that sitting on your favorite recliner with a fire crackling, a pair of cats and a soothing movie? Nothing! So I popped in my current favorite relaxation flick - 8 Mile - and got a roaring fire going. Of course, in the meantime Nano made himself comfy in my spot, and not being one to disturb a comfy cat I "shared" the chair with him. Basically, I got the edge of the seat and just layed back over him. He didn't budge.

So there I sat for nearly 1.5 hours until I had to stoke the fire. In the meantime, my aching back molded to the shape of a prostrate feline, which required that it kink in a most unnatural place. When I attempted to get up, I had to summon every ounce of strength in my body to not fall back down, crushing Nano. A few bends and twists and my spine cracked back into place. Aahh!

After the movie, I whipped up a batch of cookies, had some dinner and sat back down to finish my pre-bedtime resting. That God that Spiderman was on, lest I should have to watch The War at Home. For the record, I do not care for that show in the least. I let the fire die out, cleaned myself up and went to bed.

Good times.

Over and out,
Old Coot

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So...tired...can't...function

Man, something has bummed me the eff out today. I was riding a nice high for the past week or so, but today something came crashing down. I didn't do anything differently, perhaps it's the lack of sleep catching up with me or the planetary alignment. I know this morning I had next to no energy for my run, which subsequently went two hours and fifteen minutes. Man those guys don't quit! I had to take a nap this afternoon, which the cats ensured wouldn't be as restful as I would have liked. Eh, they needed the attention anyway.

Tomorrow I'm going to sleep in as late as I want, eat pancakes for breakfast and see where the day takes me. I've got an idea or two of where I'd like it to take me, but we'll see.

Weak post? Yup. My A-Game is on sabbatical, and I'm running on fumes. Send some good vibes my way tomorrow and we'll see if I can't get back on top.

Later players,
Old Coot

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Patience is a Virtue

This has to be a quick one. I'm wicked tired and I have to get up early to drag my overly tired carcass into the woods to punish myself for my sins. No, I'm not going to church camp, I'm going running. And of course my sins are many; I believe at one point I listed the 7 deadly sins and how I fall victim to each and every one pretty much on the daily. But that's not what we're here to discuss right now. We're here to discuss my virtuousness, and how it relates to my patience.

Yesterday I tried to buy some cookware, and I'm sure you are all well aware of how that turned out. I was calm and treated the people at Filene's respectfully despite how I felt they should have been treating me; like the Pillar of Excellence that I am. But again, I digress. Today I was supposed to get a call from the manager, which I did receive via mobile telephone. I didn't actually receive the call, but my caller ID informed me that someone had called and since I didn't recognize the number I assumed it was Filene's calling. He left no message. So anyway, I returned to Filene's despite my better judgement. I wanted my cookware yesterday, but decided to give them another chance today. I was rewarded.

As I walked in, the woman working approached me and asked if "there's anything I can help you with, sir." While I call myself an Old Coot, I'm really not that old. And she was clearly older than I am, but I call people "sir" and "ma'am" all the time, so I didn't take offense. I explained my situation to her, and although her handwritten nametag implied she was an idiot employee she proved to be more than helpful. She knew exactly what I was talking about and said that she didn't know about the sale items I had mentioned. She said the last time she sold that set they were giving away an 8 quart stock pot (cha-ching) and a stainless kettle (CHA-ching). She was happy to honor that since she didn't have anything telling her otherwise. I was happy to receive the free goodies. According to the futureweb, I made out with a $40 kettle and what appears to be a $210 stockpot. I want to say the pot is less expensive than that, but I can't find a lower price. So I really cleaned up, all because I was willing to be patient.

Score TWO for the Summer of Todd,
Old Coot

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Ain't life Coot-tastic

Good afternoon post browsers. Although the weather has turned less summery, I have to say that the Summer of Todd is progressing swimmingly.

I had been reflecting on a former Summer of Todd (back in twenty ought-one), during the early years of the Bush Administration. That was the only other SOT before this year, and it met all of my expectations. Of course, I was 22 and my goals were fairly short-sighted. I outfitted the car with stereo equipment, bought my turntables (which are currently keeping the dust off the floor in my office), a girl touched my leg (look RC, a TIDBIT), and most importantly partied and had very little responsibility. Plus it was the summer everyone got $300 from the gubmint just for being an American. Life was good.

This year, SOT version 2.0 will be a major upgrade. I'm older, wiser, and more Coot-tastic, so what I do this summer will have longer reaching implications. I still have few details that I can divulge, as they are proprietary to SOT management. Contracts are being worked out, deals are being brokered, staffing is being outlined and material selection is in the primary stage. Most information is on a need to know basis, with really no one cleared for the access list (sorry for the job jargon).

The plan was never set in concrete, which is what truly makes the SOT powerful thing. I am free to change direction as needed. I understand that priorities change, people move out of and into the picture, cool stuff goes on sale, and so on. And if I had concrete goals by which to judge my failure I'd be way too stressed out to appreciate the minor details. For example, today smelled like lightning or the first day of spring. Had I been bogged down with how far I was behind on my porch project (which is 100% not underway), I would have totally missed that.

Sidenote:

For those of you familiar with the P.E.P., it may have hit a welcome but unforeseen snag. Hmmm.

So today I'm going to meet up with some folks for a romp in the woods. And by romp, I mean running in the rain or whatever weather Mother Nature throws at us. I'm sure I'll be either underdressed and cold or overdressed and hot, then cold because I'm sweaty. I haven't run all week, so I need to get out there. Running is the time when I sort out all of the stuff that's been piling up on my mental inbox, and this week has my inbox bursting at the seams. Then, I'm going to buy some cookware.

I went to Filene's last night after work to pick up the cookware set that has caught my eye. I did all of the research I needed to do, found the set I wanted and I was ready to buy. They have a deal going where you get some bonus crap with the set, and when I got to the store there was no mention of said bonus stuff. They had boxes of different items labeled "Bonus", but the lady working didn't know if I would even get one, let alone pick any one I wanted.

I dealt with the manager, some other lady and a dude on the phone and came up with the following solution: they'd call me the next day. Well shit, if I wanted to wait until the next day I would have ordered it online already. I was surprised the manager was going to let me leave the store when I was ready to buy. He should have just given me whatever I wanted to make the sale. Instead I went down to another store in hopes of finding it there, but was rejected. No cookware for me.

My mood took a turn a sharp turn for the better on my way home. RC's schedule had freed up and she wanted to get together. I had played a few rousing games of pingpong after lunch, so I showered up and hit the road. Who wants details? Sorry, I'm not talking. But me likey!

So it looks like today I'm going to have to go back and buy that set today and like it (pout!). Then I'm going to cook up something delicious to break it in. I'm thinking crabcakes. And maybe I'll bake some cookies with mini Reese cups. Who knows, the world is mine!

Over and out,
Old Coot

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